New bride: Should I get this bag for my mother-in-law?
Friend: Will it make her love you?
New bride: No… Fuck that bitch.
Saratoga Springs, New York
Overheard by: louise
New bride: Should I get this bag for my mother-in-law?
Friend: Will it make her love you?
New bride: No… Fuck that bitch.
Saratoga Springs, New York
Overheard by: louise
Stoned guy: Don’t beat me up! I don’t want to be bruised tomorrow when my mom sees me naked!
http://www.overheardatmcgill.com/archives/2007/07/21/that-might-sound-weird-but-she-only-bathes-me/
Mom: You wanna sleep in the bed with dad?
13-year-old boy: Why the hell would I do that? I’m 5’6″! That’s gay!
Baldwin Park, Florida
Overheard by: hmm… point taken.
Child: Mommy, mommy, my hand smells like butt!
Mother: Why does your hand smell like butt, honey?
Child: I put my hand in my butt.
Department Store
Davis, California
Overheard by: Arlene
Very well-behaved boy: Mom, I have been so good lately, can I please get a toy?
Very patient mom: Do you have any money?
Very well-behaved boy: Um… no, but you do. I looked in your wallet this morning.
Very patient mom: That's snooping!
Very well-behaved boy: Well, daddy does it all the time!
Salem, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Jenna
Angry guy, loudly: My sister is not a fetish model!
Greenport Harbor Brewery
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Ladle
Chick: So like three weeks ago, after I gave birth, we went to this club…
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Girl to friends, emphatically: No, we have nipples so that we can milk our children!
Newton, Massachusetts
Man with Mohawk on cell: Okay, so I'm not technically the father but there are 27 baby boa constrictors over here that all have Mohawks.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: cgt
Female student: I feel like I have a really tough skin, because I was always teased by my dad from the moment I was born.
Male student (in very serious, philosophical tone): Scorn was your breast milk.
University of Southern California
Overheard by: Got milk?
