Finishing a Woman's Sentences Is Risky Business, Gentlemen

Woman wearing puffy coat: Wearing a puffy coat makes me feel like …
Man also wearing a puffy coat: It makes me feel like dancing.
Woman: …punching people.

Quebec City
Canadia

Posted on October 6, 2015
Canadia, Clothes, Dancing, Feelings, Guys, Violence, Women

A Fun and Flirty One

Guy #1: Yo, fathead! Going to prison is just a fact of life. Everybody goes at least once.
Guy #2: I know, man…I'm just gonna miss the daily hustle.
Guy #1: Like I said, you're not a man till you've worn a jumpsuit.

Knoxville, Tennessee

Overheard by: Hannah H

Posted on October 1, 2015
Clothes, Compare and contrast, Default, Feelings, Guys, Tennessee

Today's Assignment Is to Find Me a New One

Professor (about a film): It's wrong and confusing.
Student (just back from the bathroom): What's wrong and confusing?
Professor: My life.

Grennaskolan
Sweden

Posted on September 15, 2015
Default, Feelings, Questions, Students, Sweden, Teachers

Sometimes Your Words Just Flow Out, Uncontrollably

Little girl: Is there diarrhea here? I love diarrhea!
Mother: I have no idea what you're talking about, but it doesn't sound good, so stop it.

Target
Delran, New Jersey

Overheard by: Amused Employee

Posted on September 14, 2015
Default, Feelings, Girls, Kids, Moms, New Jersey, Offers and requests, Poop, Stores, Weirdness, Women

If You Need a Longer Break, “Fluffy Pink Clouds 101” Is Right Down the Hall

Linda: Ugh, this class is so depressing!
Professor: Let’s all take ten seconds to think about baby lambs to make Linda feel happy. [pause] Okay, back to Terri Schiavo!

Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York

Posted on September 14, 2015
Animals, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Education, Feelings, Girls, Gripes, Insults, New York, Offers and requests, Philosophy, Teachers

…I'm Saving That for Marriage.

Girlfriend: Ugh, I can't think about hot dogs or sausages when I eat them. I can't bare to think what body parts I'm eating.
Boyfriend: Oh, hush. Look at what else you eat.
Girlfriend: I know, but I like you! And I wouldn't eat your arm!

Jersey City, New Jersey

Posted on August 28, 2015
Body parts, Couples, Feelings, Food, New Jersey, Weirdness

You Can Sell the Blood to Marilyn Manson for a Bundle.

Professor: Now, I want you to listen to what McCormack does with this last phrase. And then I want you to go slit your wrists. Because I know I do every time I hear this.

Peabody Conservatory
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: Emo has nothing on opera

Posted on August 25, 2015
Body parts, Colleges & Universities, Education, Feelings, Maryland, Music, Students, Teachers, Weirdness, Wishes

So of Course I'm Bummed That They'll All Burn in a Lake of Hellfire

Mormon girl: When I grow up, I want to celebrate Chanukah! I mean, I just like Jews. I like Jew food, Jew noses, Jew hair styles… Oh my gosh, I love those curly bangs! I just want to pull one and watch it go “sproinnnnng!”

IHOP
Salt Lake City, Utah

Overheard by: I'm Jewish, but surprisingly NOT offended…