Guy #1: What did the bear say when he walked into the bar?
Guy #2: [Blank stare.]
Guy #1: Roarrrr. He’s a fucking bear, what else would he say! [Laughs out loud.]Guy #2: I haven’t seen you in two months, and this is what you start with? You are a fucking idiot.
Duluth, Minnesota
Overheard by: Amber
Grocery store clerk: Did you find everything you were looking for today?
Customer: Yep.
Clerk: Oh good. The last woman said she didn’t, and I had no idea what to say. So I just looked at her and kind of shrugged my shoulders. She got so mad.
Customer: Then why do you ask?
Clerk: To be polite.
HyVee
Fort Dodge, Iowa
Lady #1: I’m ready, are you coming?
Lady #2: I think I may just stay here and smell the pencils for a while.
Animal Hospital
Abingdon, Maryland
Overheard by: Paying for food
Woman on cell: Well, I don’t feel like a lesbian.
Volunteer State Community College
Tennessee
Overheard by: kyndgrrl
Angry guy to girlfriend at an art festival: How can you be allergic to a color?
Tempe, Arizona
Honest soccer mom: I’m really trying to get into the whole body-acceptance thing, but I just can’t get past how disgusting it is.
Westchester County, New York
Little boy: But I don’t care about the dead guys anymore!
Washington Monument
Washington, DC
Townie to his friend: Yeah well, just because you don’t like your fat wife doesn’t mean I don’t!
Plaza Restaurant
Gettysburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Alyssa
Confused girl: Someone with an unknown number just called me twice. I, of course, ignored the calls. Then they left a voicemail of music from The Nutcracker…I have the feeling I’m about to be murdered.
Lexington, Kentucky
Thug sitting in traffic yelling into cell: I moved you and the goddamn kids out here! I robbed muthafuckas for you! I’m facing five to ten goddamn years for you, and I can’t even get a goddamn thank you?! Bitch, you drunk?!
Highway
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: scaredspectator
