Middle-aged white lady #1: I think I’m going to buy this for my daughter’s boyfriend’s parents. You know, because it’s oriental and they’re oriental.
Middle-aged white lady #2: That is so appropriate!
St. Augustine, Florida
Overheard by: Ruth
Middle-aged white lady #1: I think I’m going to buy this for my daughter’s boyfriend’s parents. You know, because it’s oriental and they’re oriental.
Middle-aged white lady #2: That is so appropriate!
St. Augustine, Florida
Overheard by: Ruth
Girl in stall #1: So, how did last night go?
Girl in stall #2: It was alright, I guess…
Girl in stall #1: What happened?
Girl in stall #2: He had hands like a fucking gorilla. He mangled my vagina.
Girl in stall #1: … Oh my god.
Pensacola, Florida
Overheard by: That sounds awful…
Little girl to priest: Why is it called ‘Good Friday’ if that’s when they killed Jesus?
Homestead, Florida
Loud man on payphone: He said they removed something like four pimples from his prostate. What? No! Pimples! Pimples on his prostate!
Florida State Campus
Overheard by: Dr. Ian Maxwell von Indypants
Guy on computer: Fuck, I always forget my student e-mail password.
Girl: Why?
Guy: I've always used the same password for everything for years but when I tried it on blackboard it was all “oh, you can't have 'gay' in your password.”
Library
Tallahassee, Florida
Overheard by: Who uses
Three-year-old in stroller: I want to get out.
Mother: No. [Child starts crying.] You can’t get out. Mickey Mouse will eat you.
Cashier: Um, have a magical day.
Disney World
Florida
Overheard by: Sarah
CPR class instructor: So when they sent the babies to us, they forgot to include the faces…
University of Miami, Florida
Overheard by: Zach
Morbidly obese man: It’s like when you go dumpster-diving and find a whole bedroom set.
Wal-Mart
Gainesville, Florida
Overheard by: Andrea
20-something woman preparing turkey to guy: I'm not sure what's worse, pulling all this out of the turkey's ass, or you taking it in the ass last night.
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: At least some one had a happy thanksgiving
Bottle blonde: Oh my god, you have to tell me where you got your color done!
Natural blonde gentleman: Bitch, this comes from Adonis genes gifted from on high.
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Dr. Iniego Strangelove
