All I Asked Was, “Does That Come with Fries?”

Light-skinned black woman: I’m just saying, I’d have been in the home and not in the fields.

Taco Mac
Atlanta, Georgia

Oh Honey, We Feel You.

Little boy, desperately: I need to get out of here!

Kohl’s Fitting Rooms
Georgia

Overheard by: Iris

But They Have Frosting!

Kid: Dad, can we get Pop-Tarts?
Ponytail dad: No.
Kid: Why?
Ponytail dad: Because they’re… disgustingly poisonous!

Carrollton, Georgia

Overheard by: Kez

Does Licking Count?

Girl in grocery store: Do you eat muffins?
Guy: What?
Girl: Do you eat muffins?
Guy: Is that a trick question?

Athens, Georgia

Only Lightly Misting on Shirtless, Muscley Ones

British lit professor, on gays: I have honestly never seen it rain on a gay person. Never. Not once in my life.

Georgia State Lit Class

So There Are Only a Few Girls He Can Physically Have Sex With

20-ish girl on cell: No, he’s not gay! He’s just really, really tall…

Marietta, Georgia

Overheard by: Sidlee

Except for Excrement on Outdoor Statues

Girl to guy: I think that should be my new catch phrase, “I want my pigeons!” But what does that even mean?
Guy: If we knew that, all the world’s problems would be solved.

The Star Bar
Atlanta, Georgia

…Because Most Of You Got That Wrong on the Midterm.

US History professor, angrily: I don’t put up stuff on the overhead for me to masturbate to! I do that at home. Pay attention!

Georgia State University

Overheard by: Kat

Then Maya Angelou Bitch-Slapped That Opinion Out Of Me

Woman #1: So how did the date go?
Woman #2: Well, he started telling me about his favorite books, and I was all: “you know niggas can’t read!”

Georgia

Can They Still Call It Martha Stewart Living?

Girl on cell: Wait… Wait! You’re telling me she’s not a zombie? You mean she’s actually dead?

Emory College
Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: Zack