Little girl: Can I have the nose now?
Guy: Yeah, sure, it probably has everyone's snot on it now, though.
Older girl: Ew! Oh my gosh, mental image!
Guy: What do you want me to say? I'm speaking their language.
Older girl: Say “nose… products.” It has “nose products.”
Guy, laughing hysterically: Nose products?
Older girl: Yes, nose products.
Little girl, holding out fake vampire teeth: Here, take my mouth products.
Kids' Playground
Manhattan, New York
Frumpy Hermionesque girl: Why don't we try to use the formula for finding the location of two galaxies next to one another?
Hipster boy in ironic winter hat: Why would we do that? We're trying to find the age of the universe. You're the worst partner ever.
Frumpy Hermionesque girl: Fuck you, I'm going to find the age of the universe on my own!
Undergraduate Library
University of Michigan
Overheard by: Todd
Girl to friend: You know, you're the kind of person who, if you blew a bubble, I would pop it in your face.
UCLA
Westwood, California
Gay guy going up escalator to girl going down with coffee: You know you're not supposed to have drinks on the metro.
Girl with coffee: Okay, then take it for me. (he refuses, she calls up to him) Take it! Take it! I'm not supposed to have it! What will I do!?
Metro Station
Washington, DC
Girl to friend: He's like the crocodile hunter of smoking cigarettes and really slutty girls.
Plymouth, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Liz Nelson
Guy: If you had to suck a bag of dicks, would you want them to be hard or soft?
Girl: Soft! So I can fit them all in my mouth.
Guy: Well, I'd rather have them erect.
Girl: Oh! Uh. Why?
Guy: Cause there'd be less dicks in the bag.
Girl: What?! Why didn't I think of that?! Now I just sound like a whore!
Guy: You are.
Saint Peter's College
New Jersey
Female college girl: She asked me “what's a vagina?”
Montreal
Quebec
Canadia
Teen girl to friend: It's called “iced tea.” It tastes like tea, but it's cold.
Green Line Subway
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Rob
