Girl on cell: No, Mom, you don’t understand! The sex toy party was a lot of fun! They just had some great stuff there, okay?
College bus
Allendale, Michigan
Girl on cell: No, Mom, you don’t understand! The sex toy party was a lot of fun! They just had some great stuff there, okay?
College bus
Allendale, Michigan
Customer: I’m so sorry about the mess I left in the dressing room — I just had to be sure I loved what I was buying for the big day!
Sales associate: No problem. A girl only gets married once, right?
Customer: Actually, this is my second marriage… What kind of bra are you wearing?
Dillard’s
Denton, Texas
Jock: Wait… Are you talking about Kim? I thought she was dating that guy.
Bimbette: Oh, you mean Fuck-face?
Jock: Yeah.
Bimbette: No, that’s over.
Auburn University
Auburn, Alabama
Sorority girl #1: I may as well go around and sleep with all the people everyone thinks I'm sleeping with…
Sorority girl #2: I would *so* not judge you for that.
Bryant University
Smithfield, Rhode Island
Cashier #1: So, do you think Ms. Rachel is pregnant, like Missy said?
Cashier #2: No, Missy is always so full of it.
Cashier #1: Yeah, that’s what I thought. I mean, if Ms. Rachel was pregnant, she wouldn’t be messing around with pig’s blood still.
Target
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: In agreement, although disturbed
Teen girl #1: I heard this place is full of snakes and dead people.
Teen girl #2: Yeah, well, it’s not a mall!
James River
Richmond, Virginia
Ghetto woman, indignantly: And then he told my mama he wanted me to get tested ’cause he didn’t think the baby was his!
Ghetto man, outraged: Inconsiderate fuck! It was his, wasn’t it?
Ghetto woman: Hell no! I don’t know who I be sleeping with! [They laugh.] Bitch, please — I fuck like a squirrel!
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Tiki
Teen girl: Well, I had to stop eating soap, but I’m sure I’ll be fine anyways!
Madison, Wisconsin
Irritated mother: Well, maybe he got such bad grades because he was drunk while he was doing his homework!
Guelph, Ontario
Canadia
Professor, on possible Nazi allusions in animation: Well, it was a German film, and any time you hear German muttering, it’s harsh words and armbands.
Rhode Island School of Design
Rhode Island
Overheard by: Sandro
