Homeless guy: I have a dream like Martin Luther King. I have a dream that someday it will… rain crack.
Atlanta, Georgia
Archive for the ‘Homeless’ Category
Then How about a Few Bucks So I Can Buy It a Shoe?
Panhandler: Do you have any change? I need money. My old lady kicked me out. I need money for a penis… reduction… It’s too big, and she kicked me out. She said not to come back until–
Man: –No.
http://weirdosofwinnipeg.blogspot.com/2006/06/no-i-dont-want-to-see-it.html
The Heidegger Hobo Also Plays Fundraisers and Private Parties
Homeless guy to girl passing by: The economic downturn has thrown me into an existential panic! (girl looks at him quizzically) Yeah, us street folk feel that shit too.
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Alessa Colaianni
Your Oversized T‑Shirts and Puffy Bangs No Longer Have Any Hold Over Me!
Bum, to nobody in particular: I hate you, DJ Tanner!
Sacramento, California
That, and When Oprah Appeared to Me in a Popsicle
Cracked-out homeless he-she to girl running from station: Keep on running, mothafuckah! I’ll getcha! [Crazy laughter.]Hipster girl, after he-she walks away: That was the greatest thing that ever happened to me.
30th Street station
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: 3 Hipsters
Strawberry Shortcake and the Purple Pieman Never Quite Saw Eye-to-eye
Hobo: Hey, can you spare some change?
Girl: I don’t have change, but I do have this muffin.
Hobo: Can’t buy no weed with a muffin!
Boston, Massachusetts
Shhh, They’re the Fuzz!
Homeless man approaching peach stand: Peaches, what’s they job? [Silence from passersby.] They job, what’s they job?
Befuddled white preppy #1: Well, I think they have potassium…
Homeless man: But what’s they job?
Befuddled white preppy #2: The color probably means they have beta carotene…
Homeless man: Peaches, what’s they job?
Farmer’s market, Union Square
New York, New York
Overheard by: I don’t know, either
Hobo Scientist Cracks the Container Principle
Hobo, gesturing to trash can: I was right! There’s definitely a big hole in this thing!
http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2006/09/computer-back-sun-resolved-everyone.html/
Overheard by: dek
All Religions Have the Same Basic Premise
Beggar girl to lady: Miss, look at you. You’re so beautiful! Give me money and God will bless you. Your boyfriend will marry you.
Man: We’re already married.
Beggar girl: Then you will be blessed with many, many babies.
Man: But I don’t want any babies.
Beggar girl: What?! Shame on you for not wanting babies! God will smite you for this! Unless you give me money…
Mumbai
India
Overheard by: Mirchi
Meet Berkeley’s Best Improvisational Lear
Furious hobo in tie-dye to frightened college student: You know why girls wear perfume and makeup? Because they’re ugly and they stink! God bless you.
Berkeley, California
