Drunk blonde: So, what do you think of American women?
Irish guy: Well, I don’t know how to say this delicately, but I prefer American men.
Drunk blonde: Mhmmm… So, do you have a girlfriend back home?
Irish guy: I’m not sure you quite understand…
Bar
Chicago, Illinois
Middle aged woman: I want him to think of me as the kind of friend who shakes your hand, not the friend you jump into bed with.
Northwestern University
Evanston, Illinois
Chick: He’s a cool guy! I mean, maybe he’s not a cynic like us…
Dude: Well, then he can just go die.
Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
Finely bearded man, loudly and distinctly among crowd: Big. Hairy. Ballsack.
University of Illinois
Overheard by: Kelsey
Little boy: I don’t wanna walk any more.
Father: No talking when we’re on vacation!
Michigan Avenue and East Hubbard
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Thad
Girl #1: I had to go to the dentist, and I spent over a million dollars!
Girl #2: Oh my god, what did you have done?
Girl #3: She had a dick removed from her mouth.
Peoria, Illinois
Overheard by: Allison
(little boy and mother pass bake sale)
Little boy: I wanna cookie! I wanna cookie! Can we please get a cookie?
Mother: You don’t want those cookies.
Little boy: What’s wrong with them?
Mother: Those are Democrat cookies.
Bake Sale for Obama Campaign
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Jamie
Wine girl #1: We should go get tattoos!
Wine girl #2: We totally should, I'll be divorced by morning!
Open Mic Night
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: only if it's my name on her ass
