Illinois

Psychology professor: What will your Prada bag get you? It doesn’t get you sex. All the men aren’t going to be like, ‘Oooh, Prada bag!’

Northwestern University
Evanston, Illinois

Hipster chick #1: Yeah, we did opium last night.
Hipster chick #2: How was that?
Hipster chick #1: I vomited until my ears popped.
Hipster chick #2: Awesome!

Blue Line
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Eve

Freshman #1: I really use a time machine.
Freshman #2: What for?
Freshman #1: Time travel, dumbass.

Northwestern University
Illinois

Dude: Hey, let’s go find a shark and piss on it!

Navy Pier
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Sean

American construction worker: See, you escaped communism. All I ever did was join the disco demolition night at Comisky park.
Polish construction worker: I didn’t escape communism, I got kicked out. Big difference.

Chicago, Illinois

Female student, having side conversation: I'm always getting hit by pianos!

Columbia College
Chicago, Illinois

Teacher: Does anyone know how many people live in Chicago?
Student: I think it's like 7 million.
Teacher, looking at student awkwardly: I'm not quite sure it's that many.
Student: Well, that's not counting all the proverbs…

College
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Julie

Teen girl to pals: Once you get over the feeling of wanting to throw up, it’s great.

Naperville, Illinois

Overheard by: Erin and Tim

Queer: Oh my god, look, it’s Mary. Mary! Maaary!
Mary: Heyyy, bitches! What’s going on?
Queer: Did he love it, Mary? Did he absolutely love it? Where’s Basil? Where is Basil, Mary?
Mary: He’s in the bag, baby, he’s in the bag.

Union Station
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Aly

Older lady: Heath Ledger was The Joker? Boy, I never would have guessed that!

Movie Theater
Champaign-Urbana, Illinois