Male student: Yeah, that’s what you get when all the assignments aren’t due ’til the end of the semester.
Female student: I know, right? I totally just jacked off in that class.

Goshen College

Overheard by: Marianne

Spanish professor, as class leaves on Friday: Be careful driving when you drink this weekend!

Hanover College
Hanover, Indiana

Overheard by: whitney

Preppy white boy: You're both women, and you're Asian! How can you have messy handwriting??
Professor: Wait, did I really just hear that?

Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: The non-asian woman

Pretty hipster to hipster friend with iPhone: Danny! Stop taking pictures of random girls!
Hipster friend with iPhone: I can't help it, I need them for my work…

Elkhart, Indiana

Lipstick lesbian #1: If we move into a house, we’re going to have to get some new stuff…
Lipstick lesbian #2: Wait… How did the pilgrims cut their grass?
Lipstick lesbian #1: Um, I think they had cows.

Fox and Hound
Indianapolis, Indiana

Lady suit on cell: Yeah, I wanna just have wild, heathen sex sometime… Well, he is black…

Panera Bread
Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: kat

Queer #1: I saw this guy here yesterday who looked super familiar, and I couldn’t remember from where…
Queer #2: Oh, yeah?
Queer #1: Well, finally I just gave up and walked over there and said, ‘Hey, you look familiar. Didn’t we have sex before?’
Queer #2: Oh, yeah?
Queer #1: He didn’t answer, but I’m totally right about it. I think he was with his girlfriend or something, too, so maybe that’s why.

Abbey Coffeehouse
Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: can i use that as a pickup line?

Little boy: Mommy, whats a M.I.L.F.?
Mom: Well, honey, it’s a… Wait, someone called me a M.I.L.F.?
Little boy: No, Bobby’s mom.
Mom: Well, then, it’s not important. Go play.

Barnes & Noble
Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: i’d like to see bobby’s mom next PTA meeting

Guy to friend in a bar, after woman suddenly departed: What happened? Where'd she go?
Friend: I'm pretty sure she left. She kept on telling me she has no self-esteem at all and that she has a huge nose. So I just told her, “look, you really don't have a huge nose–you just have a Wicked Witch of the West nose.”
Guy: Fuck. Why do I even bother trying to fix you up with my friends?

Franco's Bar
Highland, Indiana

Mid-20s girl: So, I’ve been a vegetarian for about six years now and I’m trying to phase out all animal products.
Mid-40s woman: Oh, I could never be a vegetarian, I’d die. I like my potatoes too much.
Mid-20s girl: Umm… Potatoes are vegetables.
Mid-40s woman: Yeah, I guess you’re right. But I mean like peas and stuff.

Kokomo, Indiana

Overheard by: Justin