Seven-year-old: You can’t be a rock star. Everyone wants to be a rock star. You have to be something else.
Six-year-old: Fine! I’ll be a fucking barber!

Indianapolis, Indiana

Geek to friend: You need to get her something she can use in bed… Like a puppet.

Gen Con Indy
Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Matt

Haughty woman: Oh yeah, he’s getting a divorce.
Friend: Why?
Haughty woman: She stalks him ever since he left. She followed him into Walgreens and tried to beat him down with a toilet scrubber!

Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: I would want a divorce too…

Young mom, looking disgusted at a paparazzi photo of Pamela Anderson: That’s disgusting.
Four-year-old son: What?
Young mom: Honey, what’s wrong with this picture?
Four-year-old son: I can see her penis.

Bowling Alley

Overheard by: Aunt Oblivious

Prof: I like to click on the descriptive statistics checkbox in order to pleasure myself!

Ball State University
Muncie, Indiana

Overheard by: Can't believe she said that

Overeager mother: Sometimes when my boobies sweat, they smell like Big Macs.

Madison, Indiana

Five-year-old boy to barista: I'm getting my pee-pee cut off tomorrow so I get a treat today!
Barista: Umm…
Mother to child: You are being circumcised, not mutilated! (to barista) It's just a medical thing, he doesn't really get it.

Carmel, Indiana

Queer: If gay people can’t get married then fat people shouldn’t be allowed to have lunch breaks!

Carson Street
Muncie, Indiana

Overheard by: Cassie

Man whispering into cell: But honey, I didn’t fuck her! I just came on her! … Hey, you want that Polynesian sauce they got here, right?

Chick-fil-A, Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Shatmandu

Yuppie: So then this guy jumped out wearing a ski mask and at first I laughed, but then I realized he was black!

Goshen, Indiana

Overheard by: Dej