Yuppie: So then this guy jumped out wearing a ski mask and at first I laughed, but then I realized he was black!

Goshen, Indiana

Overheard by: Dej

Patron #1: How are you tonight?
Patron #2: Well, I'm currently disappointed in humanity.

Columbus, Indiana

Overheard by: Projection1234

Young woman shouting to older gentleman: Why can't Dr Molar do his own wife?

Olive Garden
Indianapolis, Indiana

Suit on cell: Wait, while I’ve got you on the phone, what’s your animal spirit name? … Ah, ‘White Wolf’ — of course. All right, see you then.

Coffee shop
Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Baffled Bear

Jiu-Jitsu guy #1, rolling around and trying to choke the other: Oh, your hair's soft today.
Jiu-Jitsu guy #2: Thanks, I used herbal essence this morning.

Indiana University

Overheard by: Rachel S.

Chick on cell: I don’t know — sometimes I’m just overwhelmed with a desire to smell my boss’s head.

Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Jason Carr

Guy to friend looking at beer: Yeah, I better get some if she's coming over. She's the only girl I've ever been with that can drink more than me. Which is kinda scary… and kinda hot.

New Castle, Indiana

Football player #1: What are you getting?
Football player #2: I think I'm gonna get four hot dogs.
Football player #1: Dude! You're only supposed to eat three a week! It's like…the sodium or something. Three hot dogs have all the sodium you're supposed to have in a week.
Football player #2: You're fucking retarded! I'm getting four hot dogs and I'm gonna eat all four of them in their sodium goodness. Watch me.

Dining Hall, Ball State University
Muncie, Indiana

Overheard by: Colleen

Queer: No amount of chocolate or Fosse will bring back my ass virginity.

Indiana University
Bloomington, Indiana

Overheard by: spunky

Librarian at info desk: How are you today?
Gloomy guy: Not very well.
Librarian: Why not?
Guy: Oh, my girlfriend's being mean to me… Are you single?
Librarian, unfazed: No, I'm married.

West Lafayette, Indiana

Overheard by: Rachel S.