Dude: I was trying to moon them with your butt without you knowing.

Lebanon, Indiana

Six-year-old boy: Hey, look at this piece of bamboo!
Eight-year-old brother, taking bamboo, hiding it behind his back and then brandishing it like a staff: And now, with my mermaid magic, I pronounce you Sir Giraffetail! Ahoy!
Six-year-old boy: What?

Indianapolis Zoo
Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Emily and Aaron

Girl: Yeah…after he got out of prison he moved back in with us. He was always flirting with me and once tried to make out with me.
Guy: Ummmmmm, did you tell your mom?
Girl: No, I didn't mind, I thought he was cute.

Jeffersonville, Indiana

Girl to friends: Mine is, like, nubby!
Friend: You should probably get that checked out…

Culver, Indiana

Chick: Yeah, he was just showing us random slides and told us to guess what they were. And there was this one slide — at first I thought it was Jesus and some chick, but on the next slide the dude was turning into a horse and I thought, ‘Jesus never did that!’ so I just put down ‘Man turning into a horse.’

Purdue University
West Lafayette, Indiana

Drunk girl: St. Patrick's day is celebrating St. Patrick…who drove all the rats out of Germany.

University of Evansville
Evansville, Indiana

Overheard by: matt

Ten-year-old: Mom, what's “shagging”?
Mom: Um… It's like shedding. You know, like how the cat sheds hair on the couch?
Four-year-old: No, it's not. It's when two people have sex. Jeez!

Clarksville, Indiana

Dude: I was going to say, ‘Kill one bird with two stones,’ but that’s not right. That’s just stoning a bird.

Memorial Park
Lebanon, Indiana

Overheard by: Carie Jones

Middle-aged woman to friend: I will text the shit out of your ass, but I will not leave you a voicemail!

The Premiere Grill
Valparaiso, Indiana

10-year-old girl, excitedly, to 20-something woman wearing cat ears: Are you a furry?

GenCon 2008
Indianapolis, Indiana