Drunk watching a pool game: You’re a retard!
Girl playing pool: I’m a retard? I’m not the one with chalk on my nipples!
Kansas
Drunk watching a pool game: You’re a retard!
Girl playing pool: I’m a retard? I’m not the one with chalk on my nipples!
Kansas
Girl to guys talking about their Easter candy: You know, I just want to point out that you’re both 23 and still getting Easter candy from your parents.
Guy #1: Hey, it’s not like I asked for it!
Guy #2: And besides, it’s not from my mom. It’s from the bunny.
PETCO Park
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Danette
Guy #1: I would sacrifice myself to save the rest of the world. Wouldn't you?
Guy #2: Naw, man. Fuck the world.
Chino, California
Random guy: Man, you just gotta cowboy the fuck up and tell the dumb bitch you’re doing her in the ass!
Moe’s Southwest Grill
Norman, Oklahoma
Girl on bus: I've been trying to quit drinking and she was all like, “have some juice with me!” And then she pulls out a half gallon of vodka, and I'm all, “bitch, what you doing?”
Seattle, Washington
Crazy old white lady trying on wedding veil: So I always wondered why I didn't look good in these things…until 2004.
Disinterested customer: Oh?
Crazy old white lady: Yeah, then I found out I was part Native American. At least 5%.
Disinterested customer (confused): Oh…?
Crazy, old white lady: Yeah. That's why I don't look good in veils. Cause we Native Americans don't wear them.
Disinterested customer: I got married in a courthouse.
Crazy old white lady: I hate to say it since I am part white, but damn those white people!
Goodwill
Altoona, Pennsylvania
PSU freshman (attempting to flirt): Wow, that’s an amazing accent! Is it British?
Cute freshman who says Rs like Ws: Actually, it’s a speech impediment.
http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2008/04/library-flirting.html
Overheard by: ellen
Wife: This is the last chance. I’m really going to file for divorce unless you’re willing to work at this.
Husband: I deserve someone that I won’t cheat on.
Omaha, Nebraska
Girl #1: How's your sister?
Girl #2: She's a whore. If she wasn't pregnant, I'd go beat her ass.
University of New Orleans, Louisiana
