Kids

Little boy: Mommy! I want to get my daddy this card!
Mother: But honey, you don’t know what that means.
Little boy: Yes, I do! I do!
Mother: Okay, what does it mean?
Little boy: Pull my finger. It means… pull my finger! That’s what you do, right? You pull the monkey’s finger.
Mother: Um… Honey, you don’t know what that means. Here, why don’t you give Daddy this other card instead?
Little boy, crying: No! I do know what it means. I want to get my daddy this card! He would like it!
Mother, sighing: Okay, fine… But you don’t know what it means.
Little boy, happily: My daddy is really going to like this card! I just know it!

Fred Meyer
Springfield, Oregon

Guy on mobile: Hi! I just wanted to clear up that whole breastfeeding thing…well, my boss has a one-and-a-half-year-old, and he said there were three stages: a sort of watery stage, then it moves into a semi-skimmed stage, then just pudding. Well, I just found out today and I thought you'd want to know too.

N21 Bus
London
England

Kid #1: Michael Jackson? I think he died.
Kid #2: He died?
Kid #1: Yeah. He killed someone and then he died.
Kid #2: Oh, yeah, I remember.

Golden Corral
Tulsa, Oklahoma

Mom of small child, on cell: No, I don’t have any whiskey, but I have tequila.
Small child, pulling away: No, Mommy! Don’t kill me!

Cogshall Park
Fitchburg, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Why, why, why?!

Mom to young son: There's a doggie! Do you know what sound a doggie makes?
Son: Mooo.
Mom, distracted by shiny things: Uh-huh. (pause) Hey! Dogs don't say “moo”!

Target
Leominster, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Manda

Child, as food is placed in front of him: But Mommy, I don’t wanna eat Nemo!

Sushi restaurant
Northern Virginia

Five-year-old girl, about fountain in outside eating area: Oh! High drama!

Bellevue, Nebraska

Overheard by: Cortny

Little boy: Daddy, how are we going to get down?
Father: Parachutes.

Top of Space Needle
Seattle, Washington

Little boy: Look! An end-of-the world watch!

Smith's Marketplace
Salt Lake City, Utah

Four-year-old girl licking gelato off a tiny spoon: This tastes like electricity!
Mom: That's right, honey.

Piccomolo Gelato Shop
Fairfax, Virginia

Overheard by: Meaggoo