It’s a Twofer!

Child running up escalator: I’m winning again!
Mom, huffing and puffing on other escalator: Yeah, well, I’m having a stroke, so…

Cleveland Park Metro station
Washington, DC

Posted on December 27, 2020
Kids, Maladies, Moms, Washington, DC

This Will Be on the Midterm.

American history professor: So this Bacon guy died of the flux. Or as I like to say, he shat himself to death.

University Of Louisiana
Monroe, Louisiana

Overheard by: a bored Am. History student

Posted on December 1, 2020
Colleges & Universities, Death & dying, History, Louisiana, Maladies, Poop, Teachers

Until She Found a Market for the Photos on the Internet

Professor: Sorry if you’ve been excited to see how you did on your essays, but I didn’t get a chance to mark them over Christmas break.
Class: [Groans.]Professor: Well, my testicles swelled to the size of grapefruit over the holiday break, so don’t think you’re the only ones disappointed. My wife wasn’t thrilled, either.

York University
Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: decidingwhethertolaughornot

Posted on November 30, 2020
Balls, Canadia, Maladies, Teachers

I’ll Consider It — What Else You Got?

Nine-year-old boy: Mom, my stomach hurts.
Mom: Then take off your pants.

http://overheardinphilly.blogspot.com/2007/05/mom-im-nine-and-even-i-know-that-sounds.html

Overheard by: academia

Posted on November 18, 2020
Kids, Maladies, Moms, Overheard in Philly

Or Was That the Time I Was Temporarily Decapitated?

40-something suit #1: So you remember when I was dying of melanoma?
40-something suit #2: Is that when you couldn't go on the golf trip with the boss?
40-something suit #1: Yes, that was it!

Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Overheard by: MilwaukeeBabe

Posted on November 15, 2020
Death & dying, Jobs & Careers, Leisure, Maladies, Suits, Wisconsin

Or an Etch-a-Sketch Masterpiece.

Guy: So how's it going with Tom?
Girl: Good. He's stuck with me.
Guy: You're like a virus.
Girl: No, I'm more like something good you can't shake. Like a baby.

Derby, Connecticut

Posted on October 9, 2020
Compare and contrast, Connecticut, Girls, Guys, Kids, Maladies, Questions, Relationships

…In the Same Way My Slashing You with This Register Key Would Be Interesting.

Cashier: Sir, would you like to donate that one cent to breast cancer research?
Man: No… I actually think cancer is a great way of controlling population.
Cashier, frowning at him: That's interesting.

Portland, Oregon

Overheard by: anastasia

Posted on September 20, 2020
Employees, Maladies, Oregon, Philosophy, Questions

I Couldn't Help It– I Kept Shining a Strobe Light on Him.

College girl to three friends, completely serious: Yeah, I guess his penis had epilepsy or something.

College Dining Hall
Pennsylvania

Posted on September 3, 2020
Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Girls, Maladies, Penis, Pennsylvania, Students, Weirdness

Typhoid Mary Was Also an Avid Bowler

Woman at table dining with friend: I mean, I love infectious diseases, don’t get me wrong, but that’s not my life.

Red Restaurant
Nashville, Tennessee

Overheard by: kyndgrrl

Posted on July 9, 2020
Compare and contrast, Feelings, Friends, Health & Hygiene, Ladies who lunch, Maladies, Restaurants, Tennessee, Threats, Weirdness

Well It Works in Her Favor!

Girl: I'm hanging out with Claire today, that's why I can't stay later.
Guy: Is Claire the one with the awesome accent?
Girl: She has a speech impediment.

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Leonard

Posted on July 2, 2020
Girls, Guys, Language barrier, Maladies, Questions, Relationships, Washington

Maladies

Well It Works in Her Favor!