Maladies

Guy to girl selling breast cancer t-shirts: I’ll do it later — the kids with cancer will still have cancer.

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2006/10/update-39.html/

Overheard by: Mike

Middle aged redneck woman: Yeah, or I'm gonna get more sicker!
Redneck friend: There's no such thing as “more sicker.” It's a double negative.
Middle aged redneck woman: Yeah! Double sicker!

Oneonta, New York

Overheard by: Caroline

Girl: Booze!
Masculine gay dude: Fuck, yeah. I just finally finished my antibiotics. I'm gonna go fall off a stripper stage into some tits or somethin'.
Straight friend: Uhhh.

Bangkok
Thailand

Three-year-old girl, cheerily scratching at rash: I have excema!

Crowded train
Portland, Oregon

Overheard by: Eggs

Girl #1: Do you think anyone’s like… Actually a good person?
[long pause]Girl #2: Ugh, my stomach really hurts today.

Drew University
Madison, New Jersey

Girl to friend: I ooze talent, like a pimple oozes pus.

Corvallis, Oregon

Overly chatty middle-aged guy on date: Doctors love giving women a hysterectomy. They will find any reason to give a woman a hysterectomy. Like, we're already up there, might as well scoop it on out now.

Italian Restaurant
Highland, California

Overheard by: well,,,there goes my appetite.

Biology teacher: Parvo disease is a disease in mammals that can be fatal; squirrels, cats and dogs can all get it.
Kid, whispering quietly to himself: Ruff! Ruff ruff! Kaboom!

Florida

Woman: My mom was in the hospital with brain cancer. Then my cousin showed up, and I asked her if she wanted to, you know, go to a craft store and get something for mom. Well, on the walk over, she… (makes farting noises). So you can imagine how upset I was.

YMCA
Beloit, Wisconsin

Girl: Well, the sad thing is I'm gonna have to treat you like Morgan when she doesn't want to take her ear infection pills.

Smith College
Northampton, Massachusetts