Massachusetts

Tourist: What’s a gable?
Tour guide: A peak in a roof.
Tourist: So, a gable is a roof?
Tour guide: Uh… Yes.

House of Seven Gables
Salem, Massachusetts

Guy at the end of the very long line to men's room: Man, it's like the line to Space Mountain. Except when you get to the end you have your dick in your hand.

Festival of Ales
Worcester, Massachusetts

Girl #1: And yeah… She had these stains on her teeth.
Girl #2: Ew! Why… We’re in America.

Boston, Massachusetts

Tall, redhead girl: I'm worried that people are getting a little too comfortable being pantless around me.
Petite, indian girl: I wish I was you…

Massachusetts

British theater professor: Well, you know Hong Kong used to belong to Britain. (angrily) Everything used to belong to Britain.

Theater Class, UMass
Amherst, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Chanimal

What Happens When Mom Isn't Around to Stop Him

Greasy man, with greasy chick hanging on him: On the walls! Cum all over the windows! Cum cum cum, I loooove to cum!

Harvard Square
Cambridge, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Savannah and Alena

Teen boy #1: Haha, you have to be in the back of the bus.
Teen boy #2: Is that a race thing?
Teen boy #1: No, its a sexual thing.

Chestnut Hill, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Sara

Physical education teacher, demonstrating the overhead smash in badminton: So I'm gonna find myself in a bad position and Sean is just gonna unload on me.

Monson, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Sarah

30-something woman on cell: Yeah, the crow was annoying, but at least it wasn't masturbating.

Framingham, Massachusetts

Harvard student to another: Okay, so I was thinking in my brain…

Harvard Square
Cambridge, Massachusetts

Overheard by: non-ivy-leaguer