At Least We Have the Alt-world Version

Girl #1: I was so disappointed when I found out Neil Patrick Harris is gay!
Girl #2: I know, right?
Girl #1: It's such a loss for womankind!
Girl #2: Men don't deserve him!

Women's Dressing Room
Western Michigan University

Posted on August 2, 2015
About celebrities, Colleges & Universities, Gender issues, Girls, Gripes, Michigan, Sexuality

Suck His Toes and You’ll Be High for Days

Large black woman on cell: Girl! I’m tellin’ you, I don’t know where I gots them warts on my feets. But they nasty! I don’t want to give them to nobody else, so I brought me some lil’ socks, you know… Them cushy foots? Not like Earl, who goes barefoot all over the city with them mushroom funguses on his toes. His toenails be like baby powder! They all crumbly and shit.

Detroit Metro Airport
Detroit, Michigan

Overheard by: Trying not to barf (and glad I wore socks)

Posted on July 31, 2015
Airports & flights, Black people, Body parts, Clothes, Compare and contrast, Etiquette, Health & Hygiene, Hoochies, Maladies, Michigan, On the phone, Threats, Women

That's What You Took Away from That Lifetime Movie?

Young woman: I mean, bulimia is easy! But anorexia? That takes willpower!

Grand Rapids, Michigan

Overheard by: Mandy

Posted on July 25, 2015
Compare and contrast, Health & Hygiene, Maladies, Michigan, Women

Should Have Stayed

Chick #1: … And then when you woke up you were naked in Las Vegas?
Chick #2: Exactly.

Ann Arbor, Michigan

Posted on July 25, 2015
Chicks, Gossip, Michigan

I Believe Fingerpainting and Paste-Eating Are Down the Hall

Dumb blonde: Wait, wasn't Columbus the first president? That's why we have Columbus day!
Professor, calmly: Get out, please.

University of Michigan

Overheard by: getout

Posted on July 24, 2015
Colleges & Universities, Education, History, Idiots, Michigan, Stupidity, Teachers

In Michigan It's Always the 1950s

Girl #1: We have to deal with it for nine months!
Girl #2: At least we get to be bitches for no reason.
Girl #1: Yeah, my boyfriend's basically a slave.

University of Michigan
Ann Arbor, Michigan

Overheard by: …I knew it!

Posted on July 20, 2015
Colleges & Universities, Girls, Michigan, Pregnancy, Relationships

And She’d Fallen Asleep at the Wheel.

Girl: Hey! How are you? Anything new and exciting?
Friend: I got rear-ended while driving yesterday because a woman was receiving oral sex.

Kalamazoo College
Kalamazoo, Michigan

Posted on July 19, 2015
Chicks, Foreplay, Gossip, Michigan

Baby, You're the H1N1 for Me

Girl to guy: Don't hug me. I'm sick.
Guy to girl: Me too!
(pause)
Girl to guy: Yay! (hugs)

Ann Arbor, Michigan

Overheard by: apparently sick people can't get worse

Posted on July 16, 2015
Girls, Guys, Maladies, Michigan, Relationships, Weirdness

This Baby Can Wait 'Til I'm Done with My Deep-Dish

Woman eating pizza with friends: So, do you want to go to the hospital? Okay, I'm on my way…I'll be a few minutes though. (hangs up and continues eating)

Louis Pizza
Detroit, Michigan

Posted on July 13, 2015
Default, Food, Health & Hygiene, Lies, Maladies, Michigan, Restaurants, Women

Count Us in for Twenty Bucks

Dude: I’d let a horse rope me in the ass if the money was right.

Dearborn, Michigan

Overheard by: Stunned Brother

Posted on July 10, 2015
Animals, Default, Guys, Michigan, Money, Sex