Drunk girl to stranger: You're dressed as Juno for Halloween? Oh my god, that's so ironic! I'm pregnant for real!
East Lansing, Michigan
Dude to friend: Don’t worry — I have plenty of meals left to buy condoms.
Cafeteria, University of Michigan
Michigan
Professor: I think fish are not animals. I don't have a concrete answer, but I think they are not animals.
Michigan State University
Overheard by: sjshock
Guy #1: I'm going to study all night!
Guy #2: Yeah, I'll come too.
Guy #1: No, man… You're too weak.
Wayne State University
Detroit, Michigan
Girl on cell: No way. I’m not moving to North Carolina. That state totally sucks. Seriously… There is not one damned thing about that state that I like, except for the hot men that live on base. And you know what else? I love this store, but I have no idea what anything is because it’s all in a foreign language.
IKEA
Canton, Michigan
Girl #1: I was so disappointed when I found out Neil Patrick Harris is gay!
Girl #2: I know, right?
Girl #1: It's such a loss for womankind!
Girl #2: Men don't deserve him!
Women's Dressing Room
Western Michigan University
Large black woman on cell: Girl! I’m tellin’ you, I don’t know where I gots them warts on my feets. But they nasty! I don’t want to give them to nobody else, so I brought me some lil’ socks, you know… Them cushy foots? Not like Earl, who goes barefoot all over the city with them mushroom funguses on his toes. His toenails be like baby powder! They all crumbly and shit.
Detroit Metro Airport
Detroit, Michigan
Overheard by: Trying not to barf (and glad I wore socks)
Young woman: I mean, bulimia is easy! But anorexia? That takes willpower!
Grand Rapids, Michigan
Overheard by: Mandy
Chick #1: … And then when you woke up you were naked in Las Vegas?
Chick #2: Exactly.
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Dumb blonde: Wait, wasn't Columbus the first president? That's why we have Columbus day!
Professor, calmly: Get out, please.
University of Michigan
Overheard by: getout
