New York

Dad to daughters: I've stolen more bellybuttons than you can count.

Rochester, New York

Overheard by: Jude

Girl #1: Oh my god! Romeo and Juliet is a book!
Girl #2: It's like, Shakespeare.
Girl #1: Oh my god, who?

Borders Bookstore
Commack, New York

Italian guy with ridiculous Bronx accent: Yeah, so I jerked the guy off…accidentally.

Elmsford, New York

Overheard by: Mark Nilges

Man getting into car to dog barking wildly: No, you can't come. You have to stay home with mommy!

Westchester County, New York

(at the polar bear exhibit)
Father to son holding a rock: Don't throw that rock! If you throw that, it's going to hit the bear, and then he's going to come over here and eat you. Do you want him to come over here and eat you?!

Zoo
Buffalo, New York

Overheard by: Sarah.

Thug to another: You want me to go home and take a shit?

Lake Grove, New York

Skinny woman: So what do you do?
Fat woman: I'm a dietitian.
Skinny woman: You should give me some advice!

Menands, New York