New York

Black girl to girlfriend: He's young, like 24, 25. And get this: I was like, “So, what else do you do?” and he goes “I make beats.” I said, “Of course you do.”

Subway
New York City, New York

Overheard by: EL

Really preppy girl to preppy friends: Like, Jesus had problems too!

Ithaca, New York

Overheard by: Ananda

Father: Look, there's a potty over there!
Five-year-old daughter: No, I don't wanna go in the porta-potty!
Father: Okay, where are you gonna go then?
Five-year-old daughter: In my pants!
Father: Alright!

SUNY
Purchase, New York

Long Island girl being interviewed: …my physical goals, well, I want to keep going to the gym, keep eating healthy, not smoking. My personal goals, one is that I really want to travel. Like this weekend I'm going to New Jersey for a wedding.

Starbucks
Long Island, New York

Overheard by: Queens girl

Guy #1: What are you going to get your girlfriend for her birthday?
Guy #2: I got her this sweater she wanted. But I'm also going to get her a dildo in case she doesn't like the sweater. That way she can go fuck herself.

Roosevelt Field Mall
Long Island, New York

Guy #1: Do you think that street sign in the window is white trashy?
Guy #2: Dude, you are wearing a cowboy hat, a Rangers jersey and drinking from a German Stein, I don't think you need to worry about the sign.

Party
Long Island, New York

Dude: Just because you masturbate to llama/turtle porn…

Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York

Overheard by: Russ