Girl #1: Oh my god! Romeo and Juliet is a book!
Girl #2: It's like, Shakespeare.
Girl #1: Oh my god, who?
Borders Bookstore
Commack, New York
Italian guy with ridiculous Bronx accent: Yeah, so I jerked the guy off…accidentally.
Elmsford, New York
Overheard by: Mark Nilges
Man getting into car to dog barking wildly: No, you can't come. You have to stay home with mommy!
Westchester County, New York
(at the polar bear exhibit)
Father to son holding a rock: Don't throw that rock! If you throw that, it's going to hit the bear, and then he's going to come over here and eat you. Do you want him to come over here and eat you?!
Zoo
Buffalo, New York
Overheard by: Sarah.
Thug to another: You want me to go home and take a shit?
Lake Grove, New York
Skinny woman: So what do you do?
Fat woman: I'm a dietitian.
Skinny woman: You should give me some advice!
Menands, New York
Four-year old black boy, as security car passes: Run, mommy, run! The cops are coming!
Outside of Wal-Mart
Cortlandt, New York
Camp counselor: Do you have shampoo with you?
Seven-year-old camper: I don't wash my hair. I'm black! Duh.
Rec Center Pool
New York, New York
Extremely effeminate boy (taking deep breath): So…I think I am bi. (flips hair)
Blonde girl (flipping page in magazine, sounding bored): Hmmm. Are you?
Extremely effeminate boy: Yes! (flips hair) I am bi!
Blonde girl: Well, duh. You never stop checking out other guys!
Extremely effeminate boy: I'm not gay, though. My mom thought I was gay.
Blonde girl: I know you're not gay. (pause) For one thing, you are looking at my boobs right now.
Extremely effeminate boy: Oh. Right.
Blonde girl: You feel like stopping?
Extremely effeminate boy: …not particularly.
Washington Square Park
New York City, New York
Girl to friend: Sometimes she comes back from a party, and she's like, “Laura and I totally double-teamed this guy last night!” And I'm like, “That is just so wrong.”
Hamilton College
Clinton, New York
