New Zealand

Dude: I wish all guys had boobs.
Girl: What?!
Dude: It’s so much more appropriate to grope a guy than a girl!

New Zealand

Overheard by: Schmitty

Girl: Today at the Garden Centre, Bret did this amazing dance to cheer up a dog.

Wellington
New Zealand

Teen girl to receptionist: Where’s your giant cock gone?!

Badminton hall
New Zealand

Girl to friend: And then this guy, I can't remember his name, he was like “hey, you want some cake?” But I've read his blog and he believes in creationism, so I was like “no, thanks.”

Christchurch
New Zealand

Asian woman: You know, I'm not normally a lesbian. I was just scoping out the competition last night!

Christchurch
New Zealand

(Mustang Sally is playing in background)
Guy: I dated a girl in high school who called herself Mustang Sally and me Cowboy Bill.
Girl: Is that the girl you kissed?
Guy: No, we just wrestled. She was weird. I was weird. It worked out…badly.

Video Store
Auckland
New Zealand

Sober girl: Look, all I'm saying is, I wouldn't fucking mess with her. She's clinically insane.
Drunk girl: But you know, I think she's really smart. There are those people, you know, that are so smart they're like actually crazy… Real mental, and we just think they're weird, but they're not! They have like, an IQ of 200!
Sober girl: You do realize that she drew pictures of her friends decapitated, right?

Wellington
New Zealand

Overheard by: Were they talking about the same person?

Dry lecturer to class: Given the grades you got in the test, you should really be listening to what I'm saying. (pause) That's rather bitchy, isn't it? It's my way of saying: “shut the whatever up.”

University of Auckland
New Zealand

Teen girl driving car: I'm turning left because I'm ugly.

New Zealand

Overheard by: passenger

Lecturer: People who are happy, hopeful, and relaxed… are a pain in the ass.

Auckland
New Zealand