Five-year-old girl to hair brush: Mommy doesn't want me to buy you or to talk to you… That makes me sad.
Embarrassed mom: Come on sweetie, let's go home.
(kid keeps talking to hair brush, mom yanks it away)
Mom, leaving store: Now is not the time to talk to hair brushes!
North Carolina
Overheard by: Wondering why mom was embarrassed
Cashier: If it weren't for fat asses and sexy feet, I'd get out of the South and move back to New York.
Fayetteville, North Carolina
Overheard by: Nick
Woman to others: And every time she sees him, she shakes her fist at him, like this! (shakes fist in the air)
Harris Teeter
Charlotte, North Carolina
High school student: People are often uncomfortable when they're naked…
Male professor: Now, that's just not true, because I'm never uncomfortable when I'm naked, and you wanna know why? Because whenever I am naked, fun ensues.
Charlotte, North Carolina
Middle-aged woman: So, what's on tv tonight?
Middle-aged man: Chuck.
Middle-aged woman: Oh, do we watch that?
Middle-aged man: I don't know.
Charlotte, North Carolina
Female professor: She was a lesbian…
Male student: Yeah, she was.
Female professor: But he turned her straight with his manliness…
Male student: Yeah, he did.
Appalachian State University
Boone, North Carolina
Enthusiastic teacher: We're doing a scavenger hunt today!
Student, dubiously: A scavenger hunt?
Enthusiastic teacher, nodding: Yeah, it's like … It's like a Nazi Easter egg hunt.
North Carolina
Teacher: Please staple again. Please, if there is a god, staple again. Do it! Staple! Push it down hard! I want to hear you staple!
Middle School
North Carolina
Middle-aged woman: What's on TV tonight?
Middle-aged man: I think Chuck is.
Middle-aged woman: Oh, do we watch that?
Middle-aged man: I don't know.
Boone, North Carolina
College girl: Last night I dreamed that everyone got a car for free… except for you.
College guy: Even in your dreams, I can't get a fucking break!
Boone, North Carolina
