Girl on cell: They had Greenland and Iceland on the test. (pause) Yeah, apparently they're two different things. (pause) I dunno, Greenland is the cold one, or something. (pause) Yeah, I think it was unfair, too.
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Ginger
Preppy girl on cell: You know, why don't you talk more? Why don't you participate? I just wish you would say something not stupid.
Somerville, Massachusetts
Overheard by: timmmm
Man on cell, laughing: You don't need a chair! Your ass is so big you can sit on the ground! (pause, then enamored) Aw, I love that laugh. You know I wanna marry that laugh. (defensive) Why do you do that? You always do that when I try to share my feelings with you!
Beaverton, Oregon
Overheard by: facepalm
Lady on cell: No, no, no! See, the reason I bring this up is because her spaceship is covered in shag carpeting…
Tucson, Arizona
Overheard by: Caleb
Loud hipster on cell, in quiet restaurant: If you went into the jungle, I wouldn't follow you because I don't trust you! (pause) Awesome! Let's hang out.
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: Mrs. Rollins
Woman on cell in line for bathroom: You did all that for a jelly bean!?
Airport
Portland, Maine
Overheard by: Emily
Young guy on cell: Man, I don't know nobody by they real names, yo.
Framingham, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Shifty
Man on cell in grocery store: As long as you don't call me “flipper,” that's okay.
Gresham, Oregon
Angry woman on cell: That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard! (pause) How are you even still alive?! How is it that the process of natural selection hasn't weeded you out by now? How have you made it this far through life being that stupid?
Sugar Hill, Georgia
Loud man on cell on bus: You know, I don't really care for turkey. Have it at Thanksgiving and sometimes Christmas, and I am sick of that shit. Now me, I like chicken. That's my thing. I'm a chicken man.
Austin, Texas
