On the phone

40-something woman on cell: I am going to live to be one hundred, just to be a bitch.

Fort Collins, Colorado

Overheard by: Jpov

Tenor-voiced guy on cell: So I hung out at the pie shop after that for about half an hour. And I stole a quiche. Yeah, I totally stole it. And a croissant. Just walked up to the counter and bagged them for myself and walked out. It's my reckless streak.

Streetcar
Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Felicity Thistle

Anime-loving teenager on cell: So it's like I'm a lesbian in a man's body. Except I like boys.

CTrain
Calgary
Canadia

Girl on phone: But I don't have a mustache…

Colorado State University

Middle aged gay man on cell: Mother, stop making excuses. You chose to live in a government hellhole named Canada. You could have gone somewhere like Detroit, but nooooo…

Starbucks
Los Angeles, California

Woman on phone: I saw a greyhound in the middle of the road. So I told her, “there's a greyhound in the middle of the road!”

Sydney
Australia

Loud 40-something suit on cell: Yeah, let's sit around smoking ganja on a beautiful Sunday afternoon, and you can teach me Swahili.

Giant Eagle Grocery
Medina, Ohio

Hot, black female nerd on phone: No, I don't need you to explain to me why Batman can't be Asian. That's a conversation we only need to have once.

Connecticut

Overheard by: Bruce Lee Wayne

Girl on cell: I was about to go home, so I told Bob* to get the cheese because I'd brought it over so George* coud make a cheesy bagel, right? So Bob* brings me the cheese but then he starts massaging my back, and I fall asleep with the cheese. I wake up like a half hour later and he's doing it to me, so I grab the cheese, say goodnight, and leave. And after that, whenever I saw someone eat a piece of that cheese I felt sooo weird. But now it's all eaten, the evidence is gone, and what that cheese witnessed will never be revealed.

Outside Westfield Mall
San Diego, California

Disheveled suit on cell: Hey, I've decided to go home and start drinking. (pause) Yeah, I think Jim, Jack, and Jose can help me work through my problems.

River North
Chicago, Illinois