Little girl: Mommy, I know where ’em at.
Mom: Where? Show me.
Little girl: Right here — here are those big things you stick between your legs.
Mom: No honey, I need your dad.

Mansfield, Texas

Enraged Frenchman to woman and son who is discreetly peeing on wall: What is wrong with you? Find a bathroom, this is a business! (starts walking away and then comes to a woman and her teenage daughter sitting on steps) And you two, get out! What are you, from the mountains? (to himself, walking away) Oh my god! I don't believe this!


Costumed dad to little girl: You need to listen. Understand? You will not take your clothes off!

Star Wars 30th Anniversary Celebration
Los Angeles, California

Seven-year-old boy, stepping off train, to parents: We're in the middle of nowhere!

Train Platform
Maplewood, New Jersey

Overheard by: KBN

Father, dragging boy for being naughty: I have had enough of this! You're a horrible child!
Son: But I won't do it again, I promise! (cries hysterically)
Father: Yes, you said that 13 times ago, but you still do it! You're a horrible boy, so we're going to disown you.
Son: Nooooo!
Father: Shut up.


Overheard by: nicmunn

Child runs out into busy parking lot.

Mom: Careful! There are old people driving!

Overheard by: Eric Smith

Little girl looking at display of puffed wheat snacks: What’s the difference between puffed and fried?
Mom: Puffed is better for you, so you can eat more of them.
Little girl: But I don’t like puffed.
Dad: Puffed is gay.

Crossroads Market
Calgary, Alberta

Overheard by: Laura

Mother to toddler son in stall: Honey, I really don’t understand your obsession with tights.

Arclight bathroom
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: flashback to my boyfriend’s childhood

Overtired mom, after seeing infant fail to grasp something: See? Their reflexes suck. That’s why babies don’t drive cars.
Stunned husband: Uh, that and they can’t see over the steering wheel.

Wellsboro, Pennsylvania

Mother: It’s so hot out! My ice cream is splooging.
Father: Yeah, my ice cream just splooged all over my hand.
Teen daughter: Hahahaha.
Mother: Why are you laugh– Oh.

Syracuse, New York

Overheard by: melissa