Hmmm.. Anything with Bacon?

Girl: What good vegetarian options do you have?
Waitress: Well, we have really good turkey burgers.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Hannah

Posted on November 7, 2017
Food, Pennsylvania, Servers

Remember That Time I Did Those Tequila Shots and Used “Ain’t”?

Girl: Oh god, I must really be drunk — I’m mixing my metaphors!

Bucknell University

Posted on November 2, 2017
Drinking & drunks, North America, Pennsylvania, Students, USA, Words

I Don’t Think the Porn Mass Is Ever Going to Win Vatican Approval

Woman: … And he walked down the church aisle and just started licking himself!

King of Prussia Mall
Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Zofie

Posted on October 18, 2017
Gossip, Ladies who lunch, Pennsylvania

Back Up– What Does “She Gave Me Her Brush” Mean?

Six-year-old boy: I French-kissed my girlfriend today!
17-year-old girl: What? French kissed? You're six!
Six-year-old boy: I still did it. She gave me her brush!
17-year-old girl: You're six! You shouldn't know what French kissing is!
Six-year-old boy: I watch Family Guy.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Mia

Posted on September 28, 2017
Girls, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Kids, Pennsylvania, TV shows

“Thou Shalt Not Gelati,” It Says

Wife in line at water ice stand: I want a gelati!
Husband: They don't have any gelati. What do you want?
Wife: I want a gelati!
Husband: But they don't have any gelati!
Wife, pointing to menu, where it says gelati: What's this?
Husband: Rules.

Ambler, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Gracie

Posted on September 7, 2017
Couples, Food, Pennsylvania, Shopping, Stupidity

Only That One Time, When We Were Stuck in Traffic

Small boy: It’s fire!
His mother: That is your umbrella. It is not a sword or weapon of any kind.
Small boy: It’s underpants!

Trolley
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Posted on August 21, 2017
Clothes, Default, Guys, Kids, Moms, Pennsylvania, Train, Words

Although McDonald's Menu Is More Like Scat Porn

Cute, hungry 20-something: I love menus, they're like porn.

SEPTA Bus
Philadelhia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by:

Posted on July 16, 2017
Bus, Compare and contrast, Food, Idiots, Pennsylvania, Porn

For Example, Say This Beaker Is My Vagina

Lab TA, chatting during break: So I live alone, and I have a lot of trouble opening bottles. Have you guys ever heard of the plastic husband?
(entire class laughs)
Lab TA: No! I didn't mean it like that! I just meant I need help opening things up!
(class laughs again)

University of Pittsburgh
Pennsylvania

Posted on June 1, 2017
Colleges & Universities, Pennsylvania, Sex, Teachers, Weirdness

Why Do People Keep Marrying Danny Bonaduce?

Guy on Bluetooth: They took the two most aggressive animals and bred them together. What did they think was going to happen?

Oxford Valley Mall
Langhorne, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Tom

Posted on May 16, 2017
Animals, Guys, On the phone, Pennsylvania, Questions, Sex, Weirdness

See, This Is Why I Went into Teaching

Witty history teacher: So, kids, not only does the money look minty and refreshing, it tastes good, too!
Teen girl: Oh my god, really?!

US Mint
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Posted on May 10, 2017
Bimbettes, Lies, Pennsylvania, Teachers