Wife in line at water ice stand: I want a gelati!
Husband: They don't have any gelati. What do you want?
Wife: I want a gelati!
Husband: But they don't have any gelati!
Wife, pointing to menu, where it says gelati: What's this?
Husband: Rules.
Ambler, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Gracie
Small boy: It’s fire!
His mother: That is your umbrella. It is not a sword or weapon of any kind.
Small boy: It’s underpants!
Trolley
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Cute, hungry 20-something: I love menus, they're like porn.
SEPTA Bus
Philadelhia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by:
Lab TA, chatting during break: So I live alone, and I have a lot of trouble opening bottles. Have you guys ever heard of the plastic husband?
(entire class laughs)
Lab TA: No! I didn't mean it like that! I just meant I need help opening things up!
(class laughs again)
University of Pittsburgh
Pennsylvania
Guy on Bluetooth: They took the two most aggressive animals and bred them together. What did they think was going to happen?
Oxford Valley Mall
Langhorne, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Tom
Witty history teacher: So, kids, not only does the money look minty and refreshing, it tastes good, too!
Teen girl: Oh my god, really?!
US Mint
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Girl #1: It's just such a gross look, y'know? And she totally didn't have the body for it either. Total crotch octopus.
Girl #2: Crotch octopus?
Girl #1: Yeah, you know. When the fabric clings… and shows all your goodies?
Girl #2: Do you mean camel toe?
Girl #1: Yes! Right! Camel toe! I knew it had something to do with animals and appendages!
Bryn Mawr College
Pennsylvania
Chick on cell: Okay, I feel like you would know if you waxed your inner labia…
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Ladle
Young dude: Man, my jaw hurts.
Chick: Must have been all that sucking last night.
Young dude: Gotta be from something. Plus, I don't remember anything, so…
Quakertown, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Ken
Teen boy #1: Wow, she’s hot.
Teen boy #2: What? She’s, like, ten! You’re a pedophile!
Teen boy #1: I’m not a pedophile — I’m only sixteen! You can’t be a pedophile until you’re eighteen.
Teen boy #3: That’s right — I’m the only pedophile here.
Teen boy #4: I’m almost a pedophile…
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: mikee
