Tiny pregnant girl to friend: He has this mattress that has pee stains all over it, and he keeps blaming it on the dog! I'm like, “yeah, right!”
Target
York, Pennsylvania
Tiny pregnant girl to friend: He has this mattress that has pee stains all over it, and he keeps blaming it on the dog! I'm like, “yeah, right!”
Target
York, Pennsylvania
Woman: So when are you guys riding?
Man #1: Three weekends from now, or maybe a month…
Woman: Isn't it too cold outside to ride motorcycles?
Man #2: Not if you're drunk!
Downingtown, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Crys
White father: There’s Burger King, Subway, Taco Bell.
Six-year-old son: [no response].
White father: There’s sushi.
Six-year-old son: Aw shizzle!
Food Court, King of Prussia Mall
Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Carrie
Drunk girl: I teach! I teach AP bio kids. They ask so many smart questions. (thoughtful pause) I make things up all the time.
Friend: You make things up??
Drunk girl: I just say “according to my research.” (shrugs, laughs hysterically)
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Woman #1: I've always wanted to go to London.
Woman #2: I've never really wanted to fly overseas, but one place I would like to go is Venice.
Woman #1: Venice? Really?
Woman #2: Yeah. But I'd like to have a nice Italian man to go with me, like Antonio Banderas.
Bloomsburg, Pennsylvania
Pudgy guy flailing at younger girl: It’s not cute pudge, it’s a manly beer gut!
Stewartstown, Pennsylvania
Cute girl: Do you think I could make money if I started a toe burlesque?
Chambersburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: gidgetgirl
Professor, on last day of sex addiction class: I'm putting a website on the board for anyone who's interested in more information on how to become a certified sex addict.
(entire class cheers)
Professor: I meant “sex addiction therapist.”
Student to another: He just spent a whole semester telling us that sex addiction isn't fun. Clearly we didn't catch on.
Chestnut Hill College
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Girl: What good vegetarian options do you have?
Waitress: Well, we have really good turkey burgers.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Hannah
Girl: Oh god, I must really be drunk — I’m mixing my metaphors!
Bucknell University
