Pennsylvania

White father: There’s Burger King, Subway, Taco Bell.
Six-year-old son: [no response].
White father: There’s sushi.
Six-year-old son: Aw shizzle!

Food Court, King of Prussia Mall
Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Carrie

Drunk girl: I teach! I teach AP bio kids. They ask so many smart questions. (thoughtful pause) I make things up all the time.
Friend: You make things up??
Drunk girl: I just say “according to my research.” (shrugs, laughs hysterically)

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Woman #1: I've always wanted to go to London.
Woman #2: I've never really wanted to fly overseas, but one place I would like to go is Venice.
Woman #1: Venice? Really?
Woman #2: Yeah. But I'd like to have a nice Italian man to go with me, like Antonio Banderas.

Bloomsburg, Pennsylvania

Pudgy guy flailing at younger girl: It’s not cute pudge, it’s a manly beer gut!

Stewartstown, Pennsylvania

Cute girl: Do you think I could make money if I started a toe burlesque?

Chambersburg, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: gidgetgirl

Professor, on last day of sex addiction class: I'm putting a website on the board for anyone who's interested in more information on how to become a certified sex addict.
(entire class cheers)
Professor: I meant “sex addiction therapist.”
Student to another: He just spent a whole semester telling us that sex addiction isn't fun. Clearly we didn't catch on.

Chestnut Hill College
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Girl: What good vegetarian options do you have?
Waitress: Well, we have really good turkey burgers.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Hannah

Girl: Oh god, I must really be drunk — I’m mixing my metaphors!

Bucknell University

Woman: … And he walked down the church aisle and just started licking himself!

King of Prussia Mall
Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Zofie

Six-year-old boy: I French-kissed my girlfriend today!
17-year-old girl: What? French kissed? You're six!
Six-year-old boy: I still did it. She gave me her brush!
17-year-old girl: You're six! You shouldn't know what French kissing is!
Six-year-old boy: I watch Family Guy.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Mia