Six-year-old: Piss piss pissy piss piss.
Unconcerned mother: Oh, look here’s the Crayola aisle!
Michael’s
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Six-year-old: Piss piss pissy piss piss.
Unconcerned mother: Oh, look here’s the Crayola aisle!
Michael’s
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Teen girl, standing up: Get up! I gotta go to the bathroom.
Snotty friend: Fuck you! Carol told you to go before the movie started.
Teen girl: I’m gonna shit my pants at the count of three and then sit right down!
Other teen girls in row, standing in unison: Go! Go! Go! Go!
Movie theater
Stroudsburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Big Larry
Father to daughter: So, she owned a day care center. No wait, an abortion clinic.
South Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Professor: “Annihilation.” I love this word. You will see it again.
Arcadia University
Glenside, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: disturbed student
Professor, about a book currently sold out at the campus bookstore: This book has been required in my class for years. All the upperclassmen have this book. Borrow it! (whispering) Steal it!
Point Park University
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: ZB
Loud woman in a bar: I thought I was going to have a nightmare, but I was disappointed.
Harrisburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Cecil
Tall brunette: … And so I said I didn’t want herpes, but he was like, ‘Oh, they’re no big deal.’
Short blonde: Well, did you sleep with him?
Tall brunette: Of course I did. Like he said, herpes are no big deal. Just a little itching and stuff… Besides, it’s not like I can ever get them again. It’s like chicken pox — once you get it, you don’t get it again.
Math major nearby, yelling: Do you mind taking your dumb, STD-having ass somewhere I’m not trying to eat?! [Other students cheer.]
Bentley Dining Hall, Lock Haven University
Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Alexander Lepro
Guys on bench to kid on phone: No, we're not gonna pee on you, we're just gonna give you a shower!
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Large gentile man: I'm becoming a Jewish woman!
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
College girl #1: (laughs hysterically)
College girl #2: Yeah, and while he was balls deep in me too, can you believe that?
Pennsylvania
