Didn’t We Sell You for Medical Experiments?

Four-year-old girl: Daddy, can you hold my hand?
Disheveled father: I am not your personal hand holder!

Wal-Mart parking lot
Warminster, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Catty

Posted on November 29, 2013
Dads, Kids, Parenting, Pennsylvania

Ask Your Doctor about Cialis

13-year-old punk girl: I’ve seen you somewhere before.
Punk guy: Probably. I sell drugs.

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Posted on November 27, 2013
Drugs, Pennsylvania, Punks

Join a Less Ridiculous Subculture?

13-year-old goth boy: Hey! You look like a hippie!
Hippie: Yeah…
13-year-old goth boy, offering hand: My name’s Jason*. I thought I should introduce myself since I said you looked like a hippie and all.
Hippie: Okay…
13-year-old goth boy: You know, you look like a Tim. I’ve got a friend named Tim who looks just like you, only his face is mousier.
13-year-old goth girl: Oh. My. God! That’s it! No snowball for you!
13-year-old goth boy: Christ! I can’t play with dead squirrels, I can’t talk to the hippie…! What the hell can I do?!

Snowball stand
Stewartstown, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Amused Girlfriend

Posted on November 12, 2013
Goths, Gripes, Hippies, Pennsylvania

But for God’s Sake, No “Down Low / Too Slow!”

Girl #1 at sink: You know, Nicole is bringing a guy here tonight.
Girl #2, shocked: Shut up!
Girl #1: Yeah, his name is Aaron, and he likes high-fives.

Women’s room, Philly Roller Derby
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Miss Carrie

Posted on November 11, 2013
Chicks, Gossip, Pennsylvania

He Made His Millions Off Kant’s Death

Philosophy professor: … And Hegel scheduled all of his classes at the same time as Schoepenhauer’s classes, which really pissed off Schoepenhauer because Hegel was like the P. Diddy of 19th century German philosophy.

Bucknell University
Lewisburg, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Jen