Five-year-old girl: Yeah, so anyway, sometimes farts stink and sometimes they don’t. But they’re always a fart.
Instructor: Oh… I don’t think this is appropriate talk… Maybe we should change the subject.
Five-year-old girl: Yeah. We should change the subject… To naked people.
Pennsylvania
Penn student #1, looking at sculpture: Oh my god, I, like, totally hate art.
Penn student #2: I know, right? They should just buy us all laptops instead.
Locust Walk
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Drunk boy: I can’t find her! I don’t know where she is!
Drunk girl: Is she wearing clothes?
Bryn Mawr College
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Bimbette #1: Hey, ummm, how do I get my files out of the computer?
Bimbette #2: Wait… The computers are also filing cabinets?! No, wait — I don’t think they are…
Bimbette #1: But isn’t that where we get the papers?
Bimbette #2: What?
Bimbette #1: What?
Honesdale High School
Honesdale, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Alex Lepro
Four-year-old girl: Daddy, can you hold my hand?
Disheveled father: I am not your personal hand holder!
Wal-Mart parking lot
Warminster, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Catty
13-year-old punk girl: I’ve seen you somewhere before.
Punk guy: Probably. I sell drugs.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
13-year-old goth boy: Hey! You look like a hippie!
Hippie: Yeah…
13-year-old goth boy, offering hand: My name’s Jason*. I thought I should introduce myself since I said you looked like a hippie and all.
Hippie: Okay…
13-year-old goth boy: You know, you look like a Tim. I’ve got a friend named Tim who looks just like you, only his face is mousier.
13-year-old goth girl: Oh. My. God! That’s it! No snowball for you!
13-year-old goth boy: Christ! I can’t play with dead squirrels, I can’t talk to the hippie…! What the hell can I do?!
Snowball stand
Stewartstown, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Amused Girlfriend
Girl #1 at sink: You know, Nicole is bringing a guy here tonight.
Girl #2, shocked: Shut up!
Girl #1: Yeah, his name is Aaron, and he likes high-fives.
Women’s room, Philly Roller Derby
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Miss Carrie
Philosophy professor: … And Hegel scheduled all of his classes at the same time as Schoepenhauer’s classes, which really pissed off Schoepenhauer because Hegel was like the P. Diddy of 19th century German philosophy.
Bucknell University
Lewisburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Jen
RA: You guys went stripping without me?
Swarthmore College
Swarthmore, Pennsylvania
