School [Elem., Middle, & High]

Teacher: Oh my god, I love you, Erica! You're like a little me!
Student: Ew!

Middle School
Virginia

Overheard by: Eh, there are worse things

Teen boy to friends: Wait, how the hell did we start talking about the Swedish mafia?
Teen girl three tables away, leaping out of seat very excitedly: I want a Swedish muffin!

Cafeteria, Corona del Sol High School
Chandler, Arizona

Teacher to students: And then you thought we were going to an imaginary place…but it was Louisiana!

High School English Class
Sweden

Overheard by: It was real?

Teacher: Where does the friar discover the bloodstains in the tomb?
Student #1: In the kitchen!
Teacher: There's no kitchen in a tomb.
Student #2: Well, dead people got to eat too!
Student #3: No they don't, stupid!
Student #4: Wait, don't people get hungry when they die?

9th Grade English Class
Louisiana

Overheard by: Is it Summer Vacation Yet?

Teen girl to friend: Oh! I finally figured out whose pants I'm wearing.

Brantford
Ontario
Canadia

Chick: How can free will and divine preordination coexist?
Dude: Smack da shit out dat ho?

High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado

Blonde teenage girl: I already burnt my vagina today. Now my butt is bruised, too!

Brantford
Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: Jayme

Girl: Yeah, my husband's in Iraq. And I just got a boob job! How do you like my rack?

High School Reunion
Michigan

Teacher: Let's all play a c.
(music class plays a horrible, off-key c)
Teacher: Without the instruments, then.

High School
Oslo
Norway

Overheard by: Jorunn

Girl who always rides skateboard: And so we were playing ping pong, and he took his shirt off!
Friend: Right.
Girl who always rides skateboard: And then he let me hit stuff against him!

Rangi Ruru Girls' School
New Zealand