Students

Seminary student: I always wanted to just write down a series of numbers and letters on the birth certificate, and then later tell my kid they were a robot. It’d be awesome because you’d have the real, original birth certificate to prove it — to prove that they were a robot…

Princeton, New Jersey
http://pomomusings.com/

Guy: The only reason I remember the day I got accepted to Cornell is because it’s the only time I ever walked in on my parents having sex.

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2007/03/saturnalia.html

Overheard by: doug

Ditzy new student: People don't think I'm smart. But I just don't, like, like big words. I don't use them. I used one of them once at work and no one knew what I was talking about!

University of South Australia

First grade teacher to colleague, in front of first graders: And so I walked into the living room and he was there, naked, standing on the coffee table.

Portland, Maine

Professor, in regards to nationalism in film: Now what makes a film “British”?
Valedictorian: They all speak British?

University of Texas
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: Adam

Teaching assistant to bunch of anatomy students: When in doubt, touch yourself!

Cleveland State University, Ohio

Female college student: Why are you wearing underwear? I don't wear underwear. I'm a dancer. You are not a dancer. What are you even doing here? You're not a real dancer. You're an elf. And you're going to wear panties like an elf.

Chicago, Illinois

High school girl, ranting to friend about biology class: It's *so* annoying…I hate evolution! He goes all into the *designing* of a cell and I'm like “God created it and that's all we need to know.” We don't have to go all hi-def into it!

Lancaster Mennonite HIgh School
Lancaster, Pennsylvania

Social problems teacher: So what are some social problems that affect us today?
Female student: Murder?
Teacher: Yeah, that’s good. [writes it on the white board.] Any others?
Male student: Narcissism?
Teacher: I don’t quite understand…
Male student: Well if people are falling asleep all the time and they don’t know it…

Grand Rapids Community College
Grand Rapids, Michigan

Teacher: So what gets left behind when sea water evaporates?
Student: Fishies!

Melbourne
Australia