If You Know What I Mean

Professor: That’s what people in Paris did on Sunday afternoons — they walked their ostriches.

Vermont

Posted on September 12, 2015
Gossip, Teachers, Vermont

Your Assignment: Fill That Cavity

Sex ed teacher, drawing something in red marker: It looks like a tooth, but… (continues drawing) …it's supposed to be a uterus!

UW Rock County
Janesville, Wisconsin

Overheard by: Aku

Posted on September 8, 2015
Education, Health & Hygiene, Teachers, Uterus, Wisconsin

Sorry, Just Taking My Neuroses for a Walk

Professor: And this means that… [Looks at two students in the second row wearing striped shirts.] I just noticed that you two are matching! Wow! Anyway, this means that… [Sees another student farther back.] You too! [Stands back, eyes class suspiciously.] That’s almost too much of a coincidence.

Carleton University
Ottawa
Canadia

Posted on September 8, 2015
Canadia, Clothes, Colleges & Universities, Default, Sensory experiences, Teachers, Weirdness

You Can Sell the Blood to Marilyn Manson for a Bundle.

Professor: Now, I want you to listen to what McCormack does with this last phrase. And then I want you to go slit your wrists. Because I know I do every time I hear this.

Peabody Conservatory
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: Emo has nothing on opera

Posted on August 25, 2015
Body parts, Colleges & Universities, Education, Feelings, Maryland, Music, Students, Teachers, Weirdness, Wishes

The Way I Do When I Think Of Our Faculty Meetings

Political science professor to class, explaining the term “political actors”: Political actors can be political parties, politicians, organizations of different kinds…and by organizations I do not think of a group of pedophile carpenters gathering in a living room.

NTNU University
Norway

Overheard by: Amused student

Posted on August 21, 2015
Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Europe, Politics, Teachers, Weirdness, Words

But Rocks Definitely Are.

Professor: I think fish are not animals. I don't have a concrete answer, but I think they are not animals.

Michigan State University

Overheard by: sjshock

Posted on August 20, 2015
Animals, Colleges & Universities, Default, Michigan, Science, Stupidity, Teachers, Weirdness

In Smell-O-Vision

Professor, trying to motivate class: Sometimes, you just need to…to look up, and…and smell…the big picture.

Carleton University
Ottawa
Canadia

Posted on August 14, 2015
Canadia, Class, Education, Sensory experiences, Students, Teachers

Why Don't You Start and I'll Go Out for a Cigarette Break

Student #1: There are an infinite number of answers?!
AP calc teacher: Yeah, there are.
Student #2: Do you want us to write them all down?

High School
Boiceville, New York

Overheard by: Toasted

Posted on August 13, 2015
Education, New York, Questions, Students, Stupidity, Teachers

You’ll Understand Why Santa’s Fighting Him

Economics professor, suddenly, in a creepy voice: Noooo you may not! Aquaman, you cannot marry a woman without gills! [Continuing in normal voice.] No? Anybody? No? Shame on you all! Just wait a few more years and you’ll get what I’m talking about and you will be so pleased.

Tufts University
Massachusetts

Overheard by: Adrian

Posted on August 12, 2015
Advice, Age and ageing, Colleges & Universities, Massachusetts, Pop culture, Questions, Teachers, Weirdness

Always the Elephant in Any Room in a High School

Math teacher: Why is there a baby in the classroom?

Chino, California

Posted on August 12, 2015
California, Default, Kids, Questions, Teachers, Weirdness

Teachers