Lady #1: I tell you what, I just love that Kelly Ripa.
Lady #2: Oh my god, I know! She’s so tiny!
Lady #1: And tan! She must work out every day!
Lady #2: No, she probably just pukes.
Austin, Texas
Lady #1: I tell you what, I just love that Kelly Ripa.
Lady #2: Oh my god, I know! She’s so tiny!
Lady #1: And tan! She must work out every day!
Lady #2: No, she probably just pukes.
Austin, Texas
Strange transvestite: Ohmigod, you are sooo pretty.
Girl: Umm… Thanks?
Transvestite's friend: Oh, yes she is.
(they walk away)
Girl: I'm never wearing this shirt again.
Houston, Texas
Eight-year-old boy playing Nintendo: Die! Die! Diediediediediediedie!
Older brother: Isn't that a little violent?
Eight-year-old: I'm goddam Kirby! I can do anything I want!
Houston, Texas
Slutty girl in college dorm: Yeah, I know four or five guys who wear Magnums… Bitches are huge!
Lubbock, Texas
Overheard by: Maximagnum
Vegetarian girl: I think you guys should stop eating meat.
Friend: I don’t eat meat that much, but every now and then I gotta have a steak.
Vegetarian girl: Ewww, gross!
Friend: I mean, they’re not a necessity or anything, but if I had to choose between eating a steak and saving a puppy, I’d eat the steak.
San Antonio, Texas
Overheard by: poor dog
Boy #1: Nobody wants to see that.
Boy #2: Yeah, that's nasty. Nobody wants to see that.
Boy #3: I want to see that.
Boy #2, after long pause: Yeah, me too.
Boy #1: Yeah, that would be pretty awesome to see.
High School
Texas
Mom to teenage daughter: Yeah, they swell up big, you shoulda seen it, looked like I had a pussy on my hand.
Courtroom
Houston, Texas
Dart player #1: You're kicking ass because you can aim with your lazy eye.
Dart player #2: No, I'm not using my lazy eye.
Dart player #1: Well, it's still not fair.
Riprock's
Denton, Texas
Overheard by: still glad i don't have a lazy eye
Bimbette #1: Chris* has the biggest dick ever. I mean, how does someone’s dick get to be that big?!
Bimbette #2: Yeah, I wonder how that’s determined. Like, what side of the family?
Bimbette #1: Yeah, I don’t think I want to have boys and have to deal with stuff like that… [Trails off as guy in front of them turns his head and then keeps walking. Both girls stop dead in their tracks.]Bimbette #2: Oh my god, that’s him.
University of Texas
Austin, Texas
Girl #1: Walking is the most natural form of transportation.
Girl #2: Or the birth canal. It's like America's water slide.
Friendswood, Texas
