Slutty girl in college dorm: Yeah, I know four or five guys who wear Magnums… Bitches are huge!
Lubbock, Texas
Overheard by: Maximagnum
Slutty girl in college dorm: Yeah, I know four or five guys who wear Magnums… Bitches are huge!
Lubbock, Texas
Overheard by: Maximagnum
Vegetarian girl: I think you guys should stop eating meat.
Friend: I don’t eat meat that much, but every now and then I gotta have a steak.
Vegetarian girl: Ewww, gross!
Friend: I mean, they’re not a necessity or anything, but if I had to choose between eating a steak and saving a puppy, I’d eat the steak.
San Antonio, Texas
Overheard by: poor dog
Boy #1: Nobody wants to see that.
Boy #2: Yeah, that's nasty. Nobody wants to see that.
Boy #3: I want to see that.
Boy #2, after long pause: Yeah, me too.
Boy #1: Yeah, that would be pretty awesome to see.
High School
Texas
Mom to teenage daughter: Yeah, they swell up big, you shoulda seen it, looked like I had a pussy on my hand.
Courtroom
Houston, Texas
Dart player #1: You're kicking ass because you can aim with your lazy eye.
Dart player #2: No, I'm not using my lazy eye.
Dart player #1: Well, it's still not fair.
Riprock's
Denton, Texas
Overheard by: still glad i don't have a lazy eye
Bimbette #1: Chris* has the biggest dick ever. I mean, how does someone’s dick get to be that big?!
Bimbette #2: Yeah, I wonder how that’s determined. Like, what side of the family?
Bimbette #1: Yeah, I don’t think I want to have boys and have to deal with stuff like that… [Trails off as guy in front of them turns his head and then keeps walking. Both girls stop dead in their tracks.]Bimbette #2: Oh my god, that’s him.
University of Texas
Austin, Texas
Girl #1: Walking is the most natural form of transportation.
Girl #2: Or the birth canal. It's like America's water slide.
Friendswood, Texas
Woman: Do you like your daycare?
Little girl: It’s okay. They’re Christian, but they’re really mean.
Austin, Texas
(odd club music plays in the background)
Student #1: Chef, what are we listening to?
Chef instructor: Just some flippy-trippy sausage making music! It's acid jazz.
Student #2, grinding variety meats: I'm so not on the right drugs for this.
Culinary School
Austin, Texas
