Pretty girl: So, do you like anyone right now?
Serious guy: Eva Mendes, but she lives far away.
Pretty girl: She's hairy.
Serious guy: Yeah, I kinda noticed that.
Pretty girl (in acknowledgment): Yeah.
Serious guy (in agreement): Yeah.
El Paso, Texas
Astronomy teacher, about weather inhibiting lunar eclipse viewing: Well, NASA’s here, so Houston’s still cool.
Student #1: Yeah, but not cool enough to have an H&M…
Student #2: Yeah, I know!
Student #1: This really bothers me…
High school
Houston, Texas
Cop: Have you ever seen a burn victim autopsy?
Security guard chick: No.
Cop: Well, they cut into the guy, and it smelled like cooked meat. It actually made me hungry.
Wal-Mart
Richmond, Texas
Overheard by: Occam’s Lady Schick
Lady #1: I tell you what, I just love that Kelly Ripa.
Lady #2: Oh my god, I know! She’s so tiny!
Lady #1: And tan! She must work out every day!
Lady #2: No, she probably just pukes.
Austin, Texas
Strange transvestite: Ohmigod, you are sooo pretty.
Girl: Umm… Thanks?
Transvestite's friend: Oh, yes she is.
(they walk away)
Girl: I'm never wearing this shirt again.
Houston, Texas
Eight-year-old boy playing Nintendo: Die! Die! Diediediediediediedie!
Older brother: Isn't that a little violent?
Eight-year-old: I'm goddam Kirby! I can do anything I want!
Houston, Texas
Slutty girl in college dorm: Yeah, I know four or five guys who wear Magnums… Bitches are huge!
Lubbock, Texas
Overheard by: Maximagnum
Vegetarian girl: I think you guys should stop eating meat.
Friend: I don’t eat meat that much, but every now and then I gotta have a steak.
Vegetarian girl: Ewww, gross!
Friend: I mean, they’re not a necessity or anything, but if I had to choose between eating a steak and saving a puppy, I’d eat the steak.
San Antonio, Texas
Overheard by: poor dog
Boy #1: Nobody wants to see that.
Boy #2: Yeah, that's nasty. Nobody wants to see that.
Boy #3: I want to see that.
Boy #2, after long pause: Yeah, me too.
Boy #1: Yeah, that would be pretty awesome to see.
High School
Texas
