Woman #1: I fell down the stairs yesterday.
Woman #2: Oh my god! Me, too! What happened?
Woman #1: I don’t know. I just fell.
Woman #2: I guess I’m a little better than you — a possum was chasing me.
Target
Virginia
Archive for the ‘Virginia’ Category
Bed, Bath and Beyoobies Stives to Be Inclusive
Crazy black guy, very loudly to himself: That’s the factory where they make gay people, but I don’t care, because that’s also where they make boobies!
Charlottesville, Virginia
Overheard by: tom
One Of Those Confused Girls Who Gets a “Moth” Tattoo
Young suit #1: So how was that new restaurant you went to?
Young suit #2: It was okay. (points at girl next to him) She had a salad, she liked it. But I don’t eat salads.
Girl (pleased): It tasted like leaves.
Rosslyn, Virginia
I Only Go to the Cafeteria to Test Myself
Blonde girl entering the cafeteria: These lines are so long! Thank god I decided to be anorexic!
Mary Washington University
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Overheard by: waiting in line
I’ll Just Clear the Table and Then You Can Start Flinging Your Poop
Waitress: You were a hungry bunch of monkeys, weren’t you?
Fredericksburg, Virginia
According to My Logic Professor
Guy: If you can like anal, you can like feet!
George Mason University
Fairfax, Virginia
I Think I Read That in the Bible
Teacher: You can use stethoscopes to listen to water in trees. You should listen to thin trees and trees with less bark.
Student: Should it be hardwood or softwood?
Teacher: Softwood. You can’t beat softwood.
Classroom
Alexandria, Virginia
For the Last Time, It Was a Freak Welding Accident!
Guy on cell: Yeah, I get scared when you turn out the lights. (pause) That’s not gay. (pause) It’s not gay when “turning out the lights” means putting your hands over my eyes while we’re test-driving a car that’s worth more than your sister’s gold plated vahjay!
George Mason University
Virginia
Overheard by: Your sister won
What With Mrs. Butterworth Morally Judging Me
Elderly woman: You know… It’s so hard to eat pancakes in the nude!
Winchester, Virginia
Overheard by: SB
Give It Time
Teen girl #1: I heard this place is full of snakes and dead people.
Teen girl #2: Yeah, well, it’s not a mall!
James River
Richmond, Virginia
