Weirdness

Anime-loving teenager on cell: So it's like I'm a lesbian in a man's body. Except I like boys.

CTrain
Calgary
Canadia

14-year-old boy, running down the hall after another: You're feminating me.

Newfoundland
Canadia

Wife to husband: You're back already? That was the quickest poop you've ever done!

Whole Foods
Alexandria, Virginia

City bus driver, at the beginning of his shift: My name is Bob, I'll be your new bus driver. I'll be taking this bus down University to… some mall. I don't know where we're going, heh. I'm new.  I will drive very carefully… unless you piss me off. 

Des Moines, Iowa

Eastern European delegate in back row: And that was by far the biggest thing that has ever been in my ass!

College of William & Mary Model United Nations Conference
Williamsburg, Virginia

Overheard by: The Georgia delegate now regretting her seat choice

Mother to crying newborn: Wah, wah, wah! Your life is so hard!

Target
Australia

Hot, black female nerd on phone: No, I don't need you to explain to me why Batman can't be Asian. That's a conversation we only need to have once.

Connecticut

Overheard by: Bruce Lee Wayne

Toy store employee: Wait, so which one has the butthole?

Mall
New Jersey

Overheard by: thinking of the children

Professor: Do you ever wonder why men have nipples? Men use their large chests to attract women, like peacocks. But why the nipples? It's not like someone's going to be sucking on my nipple…

Oswego, New York

Girl: So, while fixing the leak, you may discover something else?
50-year old mechanic, grinning and nodding: I am Columbus.

Auto Body Shop
Lanham, Maryland

Overheard by: Jen