Animals

Wish I Could Say the Same for You

Boyfriend: Hey, did you guys go see the camel?
Girlfriend: No, where is it?
Pal: Don’t even bother. It’s so ugly. It looks so out of place… It’s probably thinking, ‘What the hell am I doing in Ithaca?! I could probably be scoring hot camel chicks in Egypt or something.’
Boyfriend: That’s what I think every day.
Girlfriend: What?
Boyfriend: Don’t worry, babe, I’m sure he’ll get laid by another loner camel in Ithaca.

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2007/05/huge-update.html/

Overheard by: willard straight, also dj-mee

Damn Hopheads

Serious man: You don’t want to fuck with a kangaroo.

Cortland, New York

Overheard by: adrienne?!?

People Are All “What’s Up?” As Volunteers Push Me Back into the Sea

College guy: Ugh. Now I know what a beached whale feels like when it gets a phone call.

Washington, DC

Overheard by: Bahama Mama

Let's Just Say, I'll Never Try Shrooms Again.

Guy: Oh I've slept in a field before. One time I slept with a sheep. I was interrupted in the middle of the night by a fox, though. The fox was like “grr!” and I was like “woah!”, but then I remembered that I had garlic bread in my bag.

An Cheathru Rua
Galway
Ireland

Overheard by: what happens in an cheathru rua…

Perhaps You Should Get That Checked Out?

Old man: You got bats in your belfry?
Jaded 20-something: Yeah, I don't know what I've got in my belfry…

Jersey City, New Jersey

Portrait Of the Attention Whore As a Young Man

Little boy, dressed as a firefighter, looking at picture of a raccoon: That's a raccoon! I shoot raccoons! With a gun! Look at my boots!

Wheaton, Illinois

Overheard by: Emlyn

For the Last Time, Tommy, It's Not Even Goat-Stabbing Season

Four-year-old to mother: How do you kill a goat? With a gun?
Mother: Well…
Four-year-old, after epiphany: Or a sword!

Tacoma, Washington

Overheard by: Charlie G.

Then Follow Me!

Screechy woman: We need to figure out what the frack we're doing for Canada day!
Quiet man: Probably sit around and watch the fireworks.
Screechy woman: Noooo, that's such a waste!
Quiet man: (silence)
Screechy woman: I have the day off, yeeeaahhh!
Quiet man: (silence)
Screechy woman: Do you think pigs would eat other pigs?
Quiet man, after long pause: I really don't know.

London
Canadia

Overheard by: Watcher of Fireworks

Like Hamburger Comes from the Pig Part

Eight-year-old boy to mother browsing meat counter at the grocery store: Mom, what's veal?
Mother: It's just another kind of meat.
Eight-year-old boy: But what kind of animal does it come from?
Mother, motioning to her chest area: Oh, I think it's from the lamb part of the cow.

Toronto
Canadia

Haiti's Funniest Home Videos Is the Stuff Of Nightmare

Retail employee to coworkers: I once saw a man having sex with a chicken in Haiti, and the chicken was crowing…

White Plains, New York

Overheard by: Dubpsfinezt228

© 2026 OverheardEverywhere.com
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist