You're Really Cute, Wendy, but You're a Fucking Sociopath

Girl #1: So last week, I went to find my cat…and I found her dead on the side of the porch.
Girl #2: (unphased)
Girl #1: And then, I went into the backyard to feed my dog…and I found him dead on the side of the house!
Girl #2: (starts laughing uncontrollably)

Escondido
San Diego, Calfornia

Overheard by: see-are-uh

Posted on March 30, 2009
Animals, California, Death & dying, Default, Girls, Weirdness

I'm a Bit Worried About Our “White Power” T-Shirts

Girl #1, looking at group of guys hanging out on the corner: They look like skinheads!
Girl #2: They're black.

Claremont, California

Posted on March 29, 2009
California, Compare and contrast, Default, Girls, Race, Words

Is That What You Call Your Vagina?

Cashier to woman buying lots of sex toys and lingerie two days after Valentine's Day: Sweetie, you're a little late for Valentine's Day.
Woman: No matter. It's always a good time to freshen up the prop closet.

Touch of Romance
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: awesome

Posted on March 26, 2009
California, Clothes, Default, Employees, Fashion, Holidays, Stores, Toys, Women

And You'd Think Jews Would Get Tired Of Being Portrayed As Victims

Guy, exiting movie theater after Defiance: The problem with movies is they always make the Nazis look bad.

Alameda, California

Overheard by: lith

Posted on March 21, 2009
California, Compare and contrast, Default, Guys, History, Movies, Names

Says the Girl Who Can Shop for 8 Hours Straight in 5-Inch Heels?

Girl trying out for soccer: I don't know what he's thinking making us do all these push-ups. I'm a girl. I am not strong.

UC Santa Barbara
Santa Barbara, California

Posted on March 16, 2009
California, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Gender issues, Girls, Health & Hygiene

In High School I Got So Depressed, I Dated Girls

Queer #1: You have so many ringtones!
Queer #2: Yeah, when I get depressed I buy ringtones. It's my thing!
Queer #1: When I get depressed I but chocolate and underwear.
Queer #2: Holla!
(they high five)

West Hollywood, California

Overheard by: Big Al

Posted on March 15, 2009
California, Candy, Cell phones, Clothes, Default, Feelings, Guys, Queers

The Female Version Of “She Was Asking for It”

Woman on iPhone: Well, he was doing squats, so I didn't think it was inappropriate to stare at his ass.

Trader Joe's
Campbell, California

Posted on March 15, 2009
Ass, California, Default, Health & Hygiene, Stores, Weirdness, Women

Let's Milk This Country for All It's Worth!

Nigerian man to wife loading small children into overcrowded rental van: Come, we are in America now! We go home and eat cheese!

Rosicrucian Museum
San Jose, California

Posted on March 14, 2009
California, Default, Food, Foreigners, Geography, Guys, Offers and requests, Tourist attractions

I Happen to Have an Eyedropper and PH Strip in My Pocket

Tipsy girl to friend on phone: Who are you talking to?
Friend, suspiciously: No one!
Tipsy girl: Do I need to monitor your drinking?
Friend: No!
Tipsy girl: Do I need to monitor your vagina?
Friend: No!
Tipsy girl: Good, cause I don't know how I would do that.
Drunken guy from end of the bar: I can do it!

Bar
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: three_eyed_fish

Posted on March 8, 2009
Bars & Clubs, California, Default, Drinking & drunks, Friends, Girls, Guys, Questions, Vagina

Ever Wake Up in Mid-Sentence, With No Idea What You're Talking About?

Male student: Sorry to use an STD metaphor again, but I think the bee pubic hair represented herpes.

Whittier College
Whittier, California

Overheard by: Sam (kind of hard not to)

Posted on March 6, 2009
Animals, California, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Guys, Hair, Maladies, STDs, Students