…And Bring Out the Visual Aids.

Student, about the economy: Well, what if I just took my big stick and made them give me their resources?
Professor: Well, let's just imagine that your stick isn't big enough to extract the resources you want. (chuckles) Sometimes there's no pleasure in the big stick. Okay, I'm gonna stop talking about sticks now.

Classroom
UC Santa Cruz, California

Overheard by: Kelly

Posted on October 27, 2009
California, Class, Compare and contrast, Education, Politics, Questions, Sex, Students, Teachers, Violence, Wishes

It's Vital to Be Clear About Which Classes You're Cutting

Biology professor, a month into school: You have an exam next Monday… I mean Tuesday. Next Tuesday. (chuckle) You don't have this class on Mondays.
Really blonde girl in the back: Wait! We don't?!

Blinn College
Brenham, Texas

Overheard by: Face Palm

Posted on October 1, 2009
Class, Education, Questions, Students, Stupidity, Teachers, Texas, Time Management

Their Gary Glitter/ Al Gore Poster Became a Worldwide Sensation

Teacher: So, what would you like to put on your poster?
Third grade boy: Glitter!
Third grade girl: Gore!

Acting Class
Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Posted on August 27, 2009
Class, Education, Questions, Students, Teachers, Weirdness, Wisconsin

Now Everyone Brace Yourselves While I Release the Bee

Teacher: If there's a bee flying around the classroom, I don't want you to freak out. But, if you get stung by a bee, I want you to jump up, scream, run for the door, run into the door because you didn't open it, scream again, and run out. If you're going to disturb the class, we might as well get a laugh out of it.

Bristol, Vermont

Overheard by: Misaki

Posted on August 5, 2009
Class, Education, Insects, Students, Teachers, Vermont, Weirdness, Wishes

Or Don't Be the Idiot Who Schedules Things Before Noon

Professor, at 8 am: If coffee doesn't work, drink RedBull. But if that doesn't work, I suggest amphetamines or heroin.

Class, SUNY
Purchase, New York

Overheard by: Jessica

Posted on August 4, 2009
Advice, Class, Drugs, Education, Food, New York, Students, Teachers, Weirdness

Or “Dy-no-miiiiite”?

Kooky English professor, leading discussion: Now, what if the raven had said “chicken soup”?

Birmingham-Southern College
Birmingham, Alabama

Overheard by: lenore

Posted on June 22, 2009
Alabama, Birds, Books, Class, Food, Questions, Stupidity, Teachers

You've All Signed Your Liability Waivers, Right?

Professor: Are there any questions before we begin the final?
Girl: Can we tear pages out of the exam?
Professor: Yes, we have the technology to reassemble it. (waves stapler around)

Managerial Accounting Class
Santa Barbara, California

Overheard by: Ariel

Posted on June 7, 2009
California, Class, Default, Education, Girls, Questions, Students, Teachers, Technology

Can You Prove He Didn't?

Teacher: Who lived at Monticello?
Student: Darth Vader!

History Classroom
Idaho

Posted on April 29, 2009
Class, Default, Idaho, Movies, Questions, Students, Teachers, US Geography

The Difference Between Swedish and American Universities

Professor: We must go out and procreate!

Swedish History Class
Uppsala University
Sweden

Overheard by: Amused Exchange Student

Posted on April 17, 2009
Class, Default, Offers and requests, Sex, Sweden, Teachers, Weirdness

How The Wizard Of Oz Became a Navy Training Film: Explained

Midshipman: It's midgets, sir.
Skeptical lieutenant: Is it like albino midgets or something?
Midshipman: No, sir, regular midgets.
Skeptical lieutenant: Oh well…okay, then.

NROTC Classroom
Atlanta, Georgia

Posted on April 3, 2009
Class, Compare and contrast, Default, Georgia, Guys, Questions, Words