Student, after teacher announced students would take turns to read: Erm, excuse me… Why can't we read quietly for ourselves?
Teacher, with mock shock: Because… We're here together! This is a room full of communion and harmony!
University of Zurich
Switzerland
Overheard by: Stephie
Professor, on Dante's version of the devil: This is not like one of those vampire things that are good-looking and want to suck your blood, and that makes you happy.
University of Pittsburgh
Pennsylvania
Girl: Good morning, Rob*.
Guy, gasping: Your voice changed! It's deeper!
Girl: Oh. This is my morning voice. It's how I sound in the morning.
Guy: You're not cute anymore!
Saint Peter's College
New Jersey
Psychology professor at all-women college: Personality disorders are the people you end up married to.
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Sabrina
Student to friend: I was going for Asian and it came out pedophile.
Otago University
New Zealand
Boy #1 to boy #2, who is moving his chair: What the fuck are you doing?
Boy #2: I'm moving you out of the way so I can get by.
Boy #1: What? You could've just asked me to move.
Boy #2: Yeah, but I was trying to save you from having to do anything. Don't worry, I was gonna put you back.
Boy #1: Okay.
Boy #2: I hate when people move me and don't put me back.
Student Center, WCC
Valhalla, New York
Overheard by: Princess Diana
Junior girl, watching group of new freshman and shaking her head: I swear they keep getting smaller.
Weber State University
Utah
Professor, pulling blue scarf out of pocket for magic trick: Now that… that is what I like to call… a blue scarf.
Villanova University
Villanova, Pennsylvania
Student: I think that Eminem is like a modern-day Hamlet, you know?
Memorial University
Newfoundland
Canadia
Guy on bicycle: Hey guys, what should we do when we get home?
Bike friend #1: Hmm… I don't know.
Bike friend #2: Let's masturbate!
Guy on bicycle: Yeah!
University of California
Santa Barbara, California
