Three-year-old girl: Can I open this?
Dad: No. There are two hundred and fifty matches in there, and they’re going to fall all over the place.
Three-year-old girl: But I promise I won’t eat them.
Harvest Co-Op
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Three-year-old girl: Can I open this?
Dad: No. There are two hundred and fifty matches in there, and they’re going to fall all over the place.
Three-year-old girl: But I promise I won’t eat them.
Harvest Co-Op
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Man pushing newborn in stroller: I’m not capitalizing financially off the cuteness of my daughter.
Denver International Airport security line
Denver, Colorado
Father: … But worms don’t have arms and legs. You have arms and legs, don’t you?
Young son: Uh-huh…
Charlestown Square
Newcastle
Australia
Dad: Do you want to get McDonald's?
Boy, screaming: No!
Dad: Do you want to get Burger King?
Boy: No!
Dad: Do you want to get ice cream?
Boy: No!
Dad: Do you want to get machine guns?
Boy: Yes.
Richmond, Virginia
Overheard by: Lacy
Kid stopping to look at object on the ground: Look, glass!
Father: That's a lolly.
Kid: No, it's glass!
Father: It isn't glass, it's a lolly.
(kid picks up object and puts it in his mouth)
Kid: No, it's glass.
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Never found out what it was.
Little boy: Daddy, how are we going to get down?
Father: Parachutes.
Top of Space Needle
Seattle, Washington
Three-year-old daughter, pointing at huge woman: Dada, she has a big booty.
Father: Sweetie, you don't want to talk about other people's booties.
Three-year-old daughter: But dada, she couldn't sit on our toilet. It is too small for her.
Father: Okay. (hurriedly moves out of the aisle)
Three-year-old daughter: Her booty is too big for pee and poop to come out. She makes a big mess and gets it all over! (father starts pushing faster)
Supermarket
Quincy, Massachusetts
Eight-year-old: I got one!
Dad: Reel it in! Keep reeling!
Eight-year-old: Dad, take my hat off! [Dad takes hat off.] Dad, scratch my head!
Irvine Lake
Irvine, California
Overheard by: Sue
Dad in stall: Remember, son — let the donkey out of the barn before he starts to run.
Four-year-old son in next stall over: ‘Kay.
Squaw Valley Ski Resort
Olympic Valley, California
Eight-year-old boy: Hey dad, can I get deodorant?
Father: Uh, sure.
Eight-year-old boy: Yesssss!
A&P Supermarket
Totowa, New Jersey
