Dads

(five-year-old boy is slapping and punching packages of beef and pork)
Father: Josh! Stop slapping the meat.
Bystander: (laughs out loud)
Father (hissing): No! Not that!

Safeway
Colorado Springs, Colorado

Overheard by: TK

Dad to little boy: If it comes between your life and this camera, save the camera!

Animal Kingdom, Walt Disney World
Florida

Four-year-old boy: Daddy! I wanna get hammered!
(mom pulls out a toy rubber hammer, sighing)
Dad, to everyone around: Shhhhh, nobody heard that! If you did, little forgetfulness fairies will fly into your mind!

Airport
Phoenix, Arizona

Man to son, coming out of restroom: After what you tried to do to Tigger I'm not sure if you deserve that.

Disney World
Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: Tracy

Little girl: I love you, pole.
[She kisses the pole.]
Father: Don’t kiss the pole! Keep it rated G!

Outside a Dim Sum Shop
Alameda, California

Dad: That’s an awfully big brownie. You know it’s so big it’s a Girl Scout.
Daughter: Silence.
Dad: Hey, this is funny stuff from your dad.
(daughter stares at him in silence)

Buffalo, New York

Overheard by: Tim

Son to father, exiting hospital: Dad, what's a disability?
Father: It's like when someone loses their finger in an accident, (pause) which will probably happen to you.

http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2008/04/father-knows-best.html

Overheard by: Jon

New dad: Look! These clothes are cute. Oh, look at this dress!
New mum: You have a boy, not a girl!

Department Store
Melbourne
Australia

Two-year-old boy, admiring his hands instead of the alligators: Look, Dad — look at my nails!
Grimacing father: Yes, yes… Your mother is to blame for that.

Atlanta Zoo
Georgia

Costumed dad to little girl: You need to listen. Understand? You will not take your clothes off!

Star Wars 30th Anniversary Celebration
Los Angeles, California