Five-year-old son: I am going to see the Reds yesterday with Mom.
Father: You mean tomorrow?
Five-year-old son: No, yesterday.
Father, puzzled: I think you mean tomorrow, buddy.
Five-year-old son, frustrated: Ugh! You’re a pea-brain, Dad!
Cincinnati, Ohio
Overheard by: teachinghimthewrongthings
Young son, after burping loudly: I burped!
Father: Does it smell like baloney?
Young son: No…?
Father: Then you're not a man yet!
Rockville, Maryland
Overheard by: Big D.
Dad walking towards hotel lounge: Where are your hands?
Young daughter: Somewhere they shouldn't be!
Dad: That's right! Somewhere they shouldn't be!
Austria
Father with two small sons dressed in Halloween costumes, walking into liquor store: Okay, guys, now pick out the kind of whiskey you want and go put it up on the counter.
Oshkosh, Wisconsin
Five-year-old boy: I feel gay!
Dad: What?
Five-year-old boy: I feel gay!
Dad: No, you don’t.
Wal-Mart
Grand Blanc, Michigan
Dad to son, passing Valentine's Day t-shirt display: These are kind of nice for your mom, no?
Son: It's for mom, what do I care?
City Center Mall
White Plains, New York
Overheard by: Nathan
Dad: Why are you wearing your sunglasses inside?
Nine-year-old boy: I don’t know… ‘Cause I feel like it.
Dad: Well, take them off. You’re not a gangster, pimp, or high… yet.
Chinook Theatre
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: Hannah
Male golfer to 20-something son and his girlfriend: See, that's the problem golfing with a female. If there are no women here, the world is your toilet!
The Magnolia Golf Course, DisneyWorld
Orlando, Florida
(five-year-old boy is slapping and punching packages of beef and pork)
Father: Josh! Stop slapping the meat.
Bystander: (laughs out loud)
Father (hissing): No! Not that!
Safeway
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Overheard by: TK
