Jenna Jameson: “Story of My Life, Honey”

20-something girl: My ass hurts and my throat is sore. I also feel very underwhelmed.

San Francisco, California

Posted on April 26, 2021
Ass, Default, Feelings, Girls, Gripes, Health & Hygiene, San Francisco

And Together, Our Geekiness Is Unstoppable

20-something girl: If anyone ever punches me, all of the turtles in western Pennsylvania will get together, form a giant stack, and bite that person.
20-something guy: Wow. Like Voltron?
20-something girl: Why did I marry you?
20-something guy: *Because* I say things like that.
20-something girl (sighing): Yeah, you're right.

Walnut St
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Posted on April 24, 2021
Animals, Default, Geography, Girls, Guys, Pennsylvania, Questions, Relationships

Tonight, on Army Wives…

Loud 30-something man on cell, while waiting in line for pizza: I can't wait till I'm on my way home so that I can give you a definitive get naked!

Airport
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Kate R.

Posted on April 19, 2021
Default

The Kid Used to Yell “Boink Me, Daddy!”

Four-year-old boy: Daddy! I wanna get hammered!
(mom pulls out a toy rubber hammer, sighing)
Dad, to everyone around: Shhhhh, nobody heard that! If you did, little forgetfulness fairies will fly into your mind!

Airport
Phoenix, Arizona

Posted on April 18, 2021
Airports & flights, Arizona, Dads, Default, Family ties, Guys, Kids, Lies, Offers and requests

And Get Your Desks Out Of That V Formation

Teacher: Sit the fuck down and stop acting like a bird!

High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado

Posted on April 17, 2021
Birds, Colorado, Compare and contrast, Default, Offers and requests, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Teachers

Weirdest. Relay Race. Ever

Girl in car: Well, I guess Jesus is just going to have to go in between my legs.

Sunrise, Florida

Overheard by: Chez

Posted on April 16, 2021
Default, Florida, Girls, Jesus, Licking

Two Great Tastes That Taste HorribleTogether

Seventeen-year-old girl to boyfriend: You can't do anything right! I send you in there to buy me some porn and you come out with hermaphrodites? It's called Real Chicks with Real Dicks, for fuck's sake.
Boyfriend (in thick accent): I'm sorry… My english…it is not too good. I saw chicks, I saw dicks…I just grabbed it.

Manchester, New Hampshire

Overheard by: taylor

Posted on April 16, 2021
Couples, Default, Girls, Guys, New Hampshire, Offers and requests, Porn, Sexuality, Teens, Words

The Female Equivalent Of, “Do You Have Any Balls?”

Ghetto chick screaming at other: Do you deserve your ovaries? I parked your car for you, bitch!

Porter Square
Somerville, Massachusetts

Overheard by: well, do you?

Posted on April 15, 2021
Chicks, Default, Gender issues, Insults, Massachusetts, Uterus

What Is It About Three Measures of Central Tendency on a Clean Sheet?

Prof: I like to click on the descriptive statistics checkbox in order to pleasure myself!

Ball State University
Muncie, Indiana

Overheard by: Can't believe she said that

Posted on April 13, 2021
Colleges & Universities, Default, Education, Feelings, Indiana, Teachers, Weirdness

This From a Girl with an “Enter Here –>” Tattoo?

Girl #1: Did you hear John* is thinking about getting a new tattoo?
Girl #2: Yeah? What's it gonna be?
Girl #1: He wants to get a kangaroo wearing gumboots, with a shovel over its shoulder. How classy is that?

Sydney
Australia

Posted on April 8, 2021
Australia, Default, Girls, Questions, Shoes, Tattoos

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