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God, I Miss College

College girl: Remember that girl who admitted to stealing my clothes from the laundry room?
Friend: Yeah?
College girl: Well, she finally gave me my clothes back at the end of the semester before she mysteriously disappeared. I was like going through them and I found not just my clothes, but like other people’s clothes too. Not just girls either. I found tighty-whities and shit. But the weirdest part was at the bottom of the basket. There was a plastic bag of jewelry ranging from like cheapo rhinestone shit to like semiprecious stones, a tv remote with no batteries, a crazy-straw, some masking tape, an empty lipstick tube thing, and a handful of Canadian money.

Newark, New Jersey

Might Want to Start Off with “I’m Straight.”

Girl: Look, you have to tell her.
Guy: I can’t tell her! I’ve kept this for so long!
Girl: If she really loves you that much she’ll understand.
Guy: How can I tell the girl that I love that I don’t like musicals?!

Bruin Walk, UCLA
California

Overheard by: if that’s the worst thing in your relationship…

Or Should We Cut to the Chase and Snort Some Lines?

Six-year-old girl to six-year old boy: Do you want to get a coffee?

Barnes & Noble
Plainfield, Illinois

Overheard by: Tdcompton

And Barricading the Door When I Came to Office Hours

Girl: He stopped calling on me in class for a while after I started his fan club on facebook.

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Claire

Watch Her Do What, Exactly?

Man on cell: One needs to do two things: Read Tolstoy and watch Paris Hilton.

http://lefulelve.freeblog.hu/archives/2008/03/02/2981402/

Good Thing You Weren’t in the Supply Closet an Hour Ago

Teacher: Oh wow, I just noticed that I’m not wearing my wedding ring. I feel half naked… You guys are lucky that I’m not.

Ontario
Canadia

A Globe Is Quite Another Matter

Professor: There’s nothing sexual about this map… For me, at least.

Kansas State University
Manhattan, Kansas

Overheard by: Nicole

He Works in a 7-Eleven, So He’s Used to It

Marine to friend: So, it’s like a long story. But basically my mom shot my boyfriend.

CostCo
VictorVille, California

They Lacked the Sweet Aroma Of Chemicals and Seared Flesh

Brunette girl: Well, they were blondes, but they were natural blondes, so not like, hot blondes.

Melbourne
Australia

And That I Was Her Favorite Sunday School Student

Slacker boy: I could tell she was really into me, because she told me, like, three times, how she had given up sex for lent.

PM’s
Nashville, Tennessee

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