Female voice over speakerphone: Maybe you shouldn’t listen to me. I just reached into my glass of milk to retrieve a cookie that I accidentally dropped to the bottom during dunking. Now I am covered in milk. I’ve got milk hands!
Fraternity guy: I thought you were trying to make your own metaphor, like “I don’t see the glass as half empty or half full, I see my hand in it retrieving cookies.”
Providence, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Wants No Part Of This
20-something #1: Yeah, see, that’s our problem: These girls are pushing 30 and their biological clocks are going off and all that.
20-something #2: Well, that wasn’t my problem before, she was 23 when I started dating her.
20-something #1 (thoughtfully): Yeah… that’s our other problem: time.
Airplane between Detroit and Las Vegas
Overheard by: ncs
Girl on cell: You know, like, I don’t feel tired, but, like, I know in my heart that I’m tired. You know?
University of Washington
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Just Me
TSA agent, looking at ID: So Judy*, how are you doing today?
50-something woman: Fine. How are you?
TSA agent: You know, living the dream.
Security Terminal
Airport, Minneapolis
Attractive 30-year-old blond European woman: You can say it, say it, sayyyyyy it!
50-year-old well dressed Japanese man: Penis… penis… penis…
Ginza
Tokyo
Japan
Overheard by: Brian Milvid
Respectable-looking chick on cell: Not *nearly* enough trannies.
Vallejo and Powell
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy
Geek #1: But I’m a semi-Mac user! I can’t have a beard and be a Mac user!
Geek #2: Yeah, I know what you mean…
Memorial University
Newfoundland
Canadia
Overheard by: Beardless Mac User
Boy in bar: Why does everyone always make me out to be the poo guy?
Oaktown, California
Overheard by: sitting further away now
Balding yuppie guy on cell: All things being equal, I would like to drink.
(pause)
Balding yuppie guy on cell: Oh, so you guys are drinking in the convent?
Saxby’s Coffee
Georgetown, Washington, DC
Roommate: I don’t eat leftovers. They make my throat hurt.
Brandon
Manitoba
Canadia
