Guy #1: Oh my god! You look good! You’ve never looked so good!
Girl: Um… I don’t know how to take that.
Guy #1: I just mean that you look so much better than I’ve ever seen.
Girl: You’re making this worse.
Guy #1: Don’t worry. I’m not hitting on you.
Guy #2: Stop talking, dude.
Beromünster
Switzerland
Canadian friend, after night out: I hope I wasn't being too annoying last night.
American friend: You weren't too bad. Until you started going on about the metric system.
French Quarter
New Orleans, Louisiana
Chick to cop interrupting honor students' discussion: Oh, um, we were just talking about how we would cover up a murder.
Cop, laughing: Oh, you would not believe how many times I've heard that…
Metro State College
Denver, Colorado
Kindergarten teacher: Hey, what are you doing?
Little girl: Nothing, but I can repair it if you want me to!
Kindergarten
Norway
Dude: It's not racial profiling, because every black person breaks the law.
High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado
Man in tracksuit to friends: That fucking Rembrandt's a cunt!
Chester
England
Two-year-old: Waaaaah!
White trash mom: You want mommy to push your stroller?
Two-year-old: Waaaaah!
White trash dad: You wanna go ten feet under?!
White trash mom: Honey, it's six feet.
Sears
Nashua, New Hampshire
Overheard by: jefe
Crazy guy: Where are you from?
Girl: Maine.
Crazy guy: Do you like beef?
Girl: Beef? Um… Yeah, it's a good time, I guess.
Green Line
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Cryptic
White lawyer, looking at long line to go through security on icy cold day: Fuck! Fuck! Mother-fuckin' fuck!!!
Middle aged black guy: Hey! Watch your language!
White lawyer: What is this, role reversal?
Outside District Court
Hempstead, New York
Overheard by: Big Larry
Guy on cell: Yeah, so I was seeing this girl, and she called me and said, “so I think I might be pregnant,” and I said “oh shit, really?” and then she just said, “yeah, but if I am I'll just put that fucker up for adoption.”
Escondido, California
