Girl: You have your orgasm blush.
Texas Christian University
Girl: You have your orgasm blush.
Texas Christian University
Drunk girl: Guess whose shirt I'm wearing!
Sober friend: Whose?
Drunk girl, without missing a beat: What?
(15 minutes later)
Drunk girl: I'm not even wearing a shirt!
Dorm Room
Wisconsin
Cholo #1, tapping roughly on glass: Heeeey monkey! Oh! Monkey!
Treehugger in sandals with socks, hysterically: Stop it, stop it! Oh my god!
(cholo #2 and #3 snicker and speak Spanish to each other)
Cholo #1: Crazy gringa…needa get laid.
Treehugger: Well, at least I didn't have ten kids by the time I was twenty! Like your mother!
National Zoo
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Meaggoo
(group of teen girls on field trip)
Bored niece: Hey! Let's call my aunt in California. She's a psychic. (dials phone) Hi, we are bored and thought we'd call and ask you psychic questions.
Bored niece's friend: Ask her what my stage name would be if I became a stripper.
Lake Atlanta Park
Rogers, Arkansas
Overheard by: Yes, I have shoes and all of my teeth.
Tween: I mean, who just calls to say, how are you, I hear you got punched in the face?
Mom: Totally…
San Diego, California
Overheard by: SaraSmile
Hobo, sitting next to guys on bench: And then my guys, damn birds! (mutters incoherently) Everywhere! Fucking pigeons! They eat and shit and live and shit. (mutters incoherently) Cats, and mind control, that's what we need…
(hobo gets up and rolls down the street)
Guy #1: What the fuck?
Guy #2: I think he's my hero.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Cute girl to suit: What are you drinking?
Suit: Absolut on the rocks.
Cute girl: I prefer Belvedere.
Suit: Are you trying to get a free drink?
Cute girl to bartender: May I please have a Chopin Martini, up with olives? (points to suit, then turns back to him) Go fuck yourself. (walks away)
Hotel Bar
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: arrc
(the road is closed for Chinese New Year parade)
Bus driver: Folks, we’ll be alright. We’re going to take a right on Sansome, a left on Broadway, and a left on Stockton. We’ll rejoin the original route at Stockton and Sacramento. Don’t worry. Everything will be alright. As long as I still get paid, it’s okay.
San Francisco, California
